You Can't be Sexy

From Wheezy Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
"You Can't be Sexy"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 483
Original Upload date March 28, 2011
Running time 0:03:35
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by TomTheUkeDude
Great People
Guests: Cynthia (thecynchannel)
audience at Playlist Live
Matt Weber
Sam Grant
Nate Bartley
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Doomsday Bunker"
Next →
"The Most Original Video on Youtube"



[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. So I've seen a lot of footage that people have taken of my band playing live lately and I think I need to lose weight. So here we go. [opens a box of Chips Ahoy cookies] One cookie for the whale [tosses a cookie over his shoulder towards the whale tank] and one for me. [bites a cookie] Mmm. And the rest for me. [shoves his face into the box of cookies and makes nomming sound. looks over his shoulder] Oh the whale cover's on. Aw, that's just too bad. [walks over and picks cookie up off floor] Oh darn, I better open up the whale cover. [eats the whale's cookie]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Eating a roll, shoving it into his mouth, making a nomming sound] What? I just had a cookies. I gotta have a dessert.
Not that it matters all that much how much I eat anyway. You recognize me, don't you? Come on. Wet hair, popped collar, untrimmed ragged man shadow... It's me, Sexy Clone. [does a biting thing and makes a strange sound with his tongue. A clone enters in the background as he bites again and makes another strange sound with his tongue.]
[Clone:] What are you doing?
[Craig:] I'm trying to do that purring bite thing you do.
[Craig makes purring unsuccessfully a few more times. Cut to Sexy Clone, who purrs and bites sexily. Cut back to Craig unsuccessfully purring. Cut to Sexy Clone, who blows two kisses to camera. Craig still trying to purr. Sexy Clone makes a sexy meow and clawing gesture to camera before kissing and purring again. Craig, still trying to sexy purr, blows a raspberry.]
[Sexy Clone:] There's no way you can be sexy.
[Craig:] Why not? I wanna be sexy like you.
[Sexy Clone:] Well, you can't.
[Music starts playing as Sexy Clone starts strutting, takes water from a glass and wets his hair, strikes a few sexy poses, starts singing:]
Original Craig,
You can't be sexy
So leave it alone.
It's not your body
To make your own.
I am original Sexy Clone. [starts dancing]
Sexy Clone.
Sexy Clone.
[Woman's voice:] Oh yeah
Sexy Clone
[Woman's voice:] Uh huh... Oh!
Not Texy Clone [wearing a cowboy hat]
Or Rexy Clone [picture of a T-rex]
Or Flexy Clone [flexes]
Slash Pecsy Clone [picture of pecs superimposed over Sexy Clone's chest]
I'm Sexy Clone. [dances, pops his collar, makes a kissy face]
Not Lexy Clone [picture of Lex Luthor from Smallville]
Or Shreksy Clone [picture of Shrek]
Or Checksy clone [picture of a blank check]
Or Czechsy clone [picture of flag of Czech Republic]
I'm Sexy Clone. [dancing]
[Woman's voice sings rest of the song:]
Sexy Clone
So sexy, so sexy, so sexy. Woo!
Sexy Clone
So sexy, so sexy, so sexy [Sexy Clone turns to camera several times biting and clawing]
[Woman giggles as Sexy Clone dances]
[song over]
[Craig:] I get the point! Get to the alligator pit.
[Sexy Clone:] Fine. I was gonna have a press conference but... [As Sexy Clone goes into kitchen, popping his collar, flashbulbs go off]] Sorry everybody, gotta call off the press conference. Original Craig is sending me to the alligator pit.
[The reporters boo.]
[One reporter, off-camera:] Original Craig sucks!
[Sexy Clone:] Yeah.
[Another reporter:] He'll ruin us. {???}
[Another reporter:] I'll certainly write a negative article.
[Craig, listening to the hubbub:] Just kidding! Hehehe... I would never send Sexy Clone to the alligator pit. [Sound of applause]
[Sexy Clone:] He was just kidding. Ahh, what a great guy.
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro graphic can be seen as winker plays a variation of outro theme on his ukulele and winks (ding)]
I wanna thank Cynthia Kelly from thecynchannel for bringing so much needed feniminity... fenimimidy... into the Sexy Clone song.
[clip of Cynthia dancing with a feather and singing:] Oh yeah. Uh huh. Oh!
It was great to meet everyone I met at Playlist Live and thank you to all of those who watched my band Driftless Pony Club [shot of waving and screaming audience]
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find out where Sexy Clone ran off to so I can push him into the alligator private in PRIVATE. I probably shouldn't have told you that. Let me know in the comments. What do you think? Sexy Clone - alligator pit or no alligator pit? It doesn't matter what you say, though. I still want him in the alligator pit. Ear slap! [ear slap]

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, whale tank, Sexy clone, song, alligator pit, wink, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), ear slap

External links

You Can't be Sexy on YouTube