[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Today I wanted to talk to you about the joy of algebraic expressions. There's monomial, trinomial, polynomial... [whale sounds] What's that, whale? Today's World Ocean [text on screen: Oceans] Day? [whale sounds] No I don't have time to give you a fin massage. Oh. You said yes. Whale language is confusing. Happy World Ocean [text on screen: Oceans] Day! [waves and smiles]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
How to make an ocean. Three parts water. [holds up a jar of water] One part salt. [holds up salt and then adds some to the water] Two parts garbage. [Stuffs a plastic bag into the water] And a bunch of oil. [Adds oil to the water.] Ahh, the ocean. [looking at his dirty plastic-bag-filled jar] It's like I'm there. I'm gonna put on some sunscreen. [Puts on sunscreen] [Sits with sunscreen in one hand, the jar in the other. Whale sounds] Wow, it's like you can actually hear it. No, that's my pet whale.
Psh. What's the big deal about the ocean anyway? [Picture of the earth] Holy crap! What is that water-covered orb? [Text on screen next to the picture: Earth] Earth? Is that some sort of hippie thing? Oh wait! That's where I live.
Okay, the ocean is huge. Big deal. As the saying goes, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean. This phrase doesn't apply here.
Oceans are like politics. Who cares?
An ocean chemical dump a day keeps the pollution away... from where I can see it.
An ocean divided against itself becomes two oceans.
Seafood. Eat it all up til it's gone. Yum yum.
And that's what World Oceans Day is about.
[turns to alternate camera angle] No it's not. I was just kidding. The oceans are important. You should care about the ocean today. And stay in school. And quit hitting your brother. And finish your breakfast! Are you gonna eat that piece of bacon? If not, I'll have it. [turns to main camera angle]
So one of the most popular suggestions on the YouTube Moderator for what I should do for a video today, BostonLBI said [shows comment] Call Ty the Regular Guy. You guys have a lot of catching up to do!
Ty the Regular Guy was a show within my show I used to do about the mundane life of a guy named Ty. In the first season, he sort of killed a man and now is on the run from the cops. I don't really want to associate with that riff-raff. [Knock on the door] Huh. Who could that be? [Craig gets up and walks towards door]
[Ty, wearing a blonde wig, a black mustache, and carrying an automatic gun:] Hey buddy. Uh, do you think I could stay here for a while? I, uh, killed a racist.
[Craig:] Who are you?
[The theme song plays as Ty walks in. The words appear on the screen as he says them.] Hi. I'm Ty. [takes off the wig] I'm just a regular guy. [takes off the mustache and smiles. Remembers the automatic rifle in his hand. Lowers it.]
[Title on screen: Reading]
[Ty sits, reading a book. He licks his fingertip and uses it to turn the page. He keeps reading.]
[End titles: Ty:] I'm just a regular guy.
Well, guess I've got a fugitive roommate now. Mmm. Ocean water. [Craig drinks from the jar.] Mmm. So yummy. And viscous. Visclicious. Deliscous? You decide.
[Viewer plays guitar and sings:] With atomic number 94, it's the chemical element you adore, plutonium. [Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro with new outro music]
So you may not have noticed but the last two parts of Platoon of Power Squadron went up over the weekend. [Points to clickable annotations] You can click here to watch Part 5. Click here to watch Part 6.
AND there's a second series that I'm in. Second episode just went up yesterday. It's called *Ding*ed in Space. You can click on my face... [A clickable annotation appears on Craig's face] ...to go to that one. You decide. Or something. You got a lot of things to click on. If you click on nothing, that's a huge, huge disappointment. Tell them to click it, Ty.
[Ty walks in:] You should totally... you should totally click on that.
singing rug, beardlovers, whale tank, alternate camera angle, comments, Ty the Regular Guy, wink, Platoon of Power Squadron, *Ding*ed in Space
This is the first video featuring the new outro music.
World Oceans Day on YouTube
Ty the Regular Guy on Facebook