|Original Upload date||June 1, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||applejuicejadedear|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey fwubbuh, what should I do in today's video?
[shows comment and reads it in a dramatic voice] The same thing we do every Tuesday, Wheezy. Try to take over the world.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
YouTube has this new thing called YouTube Moderator. I put it on my channel last week and asked you what I should do for my video today. Many of you gave ideas that were voted on, and try to take over the world like I do every Tuesday is the one that won. One that won. [Text on screen: 1 that 1?]
Now I don't really remember attempting to take over the world on Tuesdays. I'm more of a weekend world domination kind of guy. But it's entirely possible that I tried to create a memory erasing device and accidentally turned it on myself, screwing up my own memory. Screwing up my own memory. Did I say that last thing twice? I don't remember.
I... I just don't... you know... I don't... it... it doesn't seem likely.
But in the interest of stealing ideas from others, [turns to alternate camera angle, dramatic zoom, dun dun dun music, pulls down lamp so he's lit from below, speaks in dramatic voice:] Let's try to take over the... [looks offscreen] Line?
[Voice from offscreen:] World.
World. [turns to main camera angle]
Wait, did I just miss the perfect opportunity for maniacal laughter? What's the matter with me. [turns back to alternate camera angle, still lit from below. Does some maniacal laughter.] Line?
[Voice from offscreen:] Just keep laughing.
[Does more maniacal laughter. Turns back to main camera angle.]
I swear, sometimes I'd forget my own silicone if it wasn't already implanted into my pectoral muscles. [Flexes. Extreme closeup of his chest.] I'm really tough... looking.
Okay, [lifts notebook] taking over the world checklist. Maniacal laughter, check. [shows list, there's a check next to "Maniacal laughter."] Manly physique, check. [Shows list where there's a checkmark next to "many physeek."] Learn how to spell physique. ["Learn how to spell physicue?"] Still working on that one. And Plan. [On list, we see "Plan?" and below that "Play video games forever after."] Hmm. Question mark.
Let's see. Plan.... Plan.... I could raise an army of clones. Ah, that just makes me think of Attack of the Clones. And that movie's dumbtastic. Mind control! But that happens a lot in the movies. And possibly in reality. [Picture of an extremely wide-eyed Carson Daly pops up on screen] Seriously, why is Carson Daly famous? He just came outta nowhere. But we all kind of knew. You know? Think about it.
I'm not saying Carson Daly has some sort of mind control spell on us. I'm just saying he's a beautiful person and deserves everything good thing that comes his way. Oh my god! See?
I got it! [Yells out the window] Hey! I'm your leader now. Bow before me. Bow down!
For all those who don't bow down before me shall perish. So send me video of you bowing down before me. World domination achieved!
Okay, maybe you don't have to bow down before me. Let's make better use of our time. Uh, maybe just plant a tree. Or plant a plant. Or tree a tree. Wouldn't it be tree a tree if you... with that logic? Don't tree a tree. Being treed really hurts.
You think my method of world domination was too easy? Is that what you think? MINION?! You might be right, actually. By simply declaring that I'm leader, I become leader seems pretty unlikely. But with great power comes great responsibility. Responsibility sucks.
[A guy with a really long white beard:] Wheezy Waiter, this is for you. [Winks (ding)]
Whoa! Did a live gnome just give me a wink? Maybe this is a world I want to be responsible for.
[Yelling out window again] Seriously, bow down. There's live gnomes here!
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Part one of the third episode of a webseries I"m in, Platoon of Power Squadron, was just posted today. [points to clickable annotation] Click this link to go watch it. It's really good. I command thee. [keeps pointing at it for several seconds. Coughs.]
[Title of the list isn't visible in his notebook, but he says what it is.]
Taking over the world checklist
- Maniacal laughter
- Manly physeek
- Learn how to spell physicue
- Play video games forever after.
World Domination on YouTube