[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Good morning once again. Apologies. There will be no breakfast mash-up today. Eating peanut butter and toast again.
YouTube copyright protection is causing some problems for me. This morning I bit off more than I could chew. I thought maybe I could cover a song and then make the breakfast. Turns out that song was hard to learn and I think I was bothering my neighbors. But I'll get back to it later and I'll be more prepared next time.
Hey, all you new subscribers, particularly those with cameras, and I know some of you have them because I've seen your movies on YouTube, please send me some winks, and I'll give you some links. [sighs] Sometimes words accidentally rhyme. Links to your YouTube pages or your Flickr accounts or your... uhhh... blogs or your porn sites. I probably won't link to your porn sites unless you pay me a lot.
In case you haven't been watching, I end my movies with winks. And in case you're really dumb, a wink is when you briefly close and open one eye. [Wheezy demonstrates and his eye dings when it closes briefly] Sometimes people couple that with a lip raise. [winks (ding) with a lip raise] Like that.
I can't help it [wink (ding)]. My winks ding. I've had this condition since birth. [wink (ding)] [wink (ding)] [wink (ding)] It makes it hard to tell secrets.
[Craig and a clone face each other]
[Craig speaks to the clone:] Yes, in fact, I am wearing underwear. [wink (ding)]
[Another clone pops up between them, points at Craig and says:] Hey, the dinging guy over here's not wearing underwear. [Craig slides out of frame.]
So that is all. Thank you for all of your support and comments you've been giving me.
I'm currently wearing pants. [wink (ding)]
[A clone pops out near the window and says:] Dude's not wearing pants.
[Craig:] Dude, shut up!
Oh wait, I forgot. Today is Free Bagel Friday at work.
[Craig's boss, Mike, is cutting a bagel. Craig walks up, grabs him, throws a punch but Mike ducks to avoid it, stands up again, triumphant and Wheezy hits him with his other fist. Mike goes flying backwards.]
[wheezywaiter dot com outro]
wink, dinging eyelids, clone, Free Bagel Friday
Winks, Lies, and Videotape on YouTube