[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I've been gone the past few days. Tuesday was my birthday, and my band was recording on Wednesday. I wanted to capture the experience of recording so I had someone take a picture of our band outside the studio. [Picture of four shirtless guys in Speedos with Craig's, Nate's, Matt's, and Sam's heads superimposed over their heads] It was a little warm that day so we took our shirts off. It took some convincing for me, though. I get a little self-conscious about my stomach veins.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So in the news today [shows article] Yahoo revamps its search engine.
I guess they're trying to compete with, um, Google? Pffft. Pffft. Pffft. Pfff. The only way they could do that is if they read minds. Let's check it out. [turns to his computer which has a picture of Scarlett Johansson on the screen.] Oh wow. I didn't even type anything, and they knew what I was searching for. How about now? [shot of his computer again. Scarlett's still there.] Yep. Still right And now. [Shot of his computer, which is showing website for Tweak Footwear.] Also correct.
It's time for an update on the Wheezy Shoe. About a week ago, I made a video asking for help in designing my new Wheezy shoe. That video is here [points to clickable annotation] and in the doobly-doo [points down]. Now let's narrow it down. [Extreme closeup] No, I didn't mean the amount of face on the screen. I meant shoe design possibilities.
OatSirajarawon [which is an untranscriable Facebook username] said, [shows comment] The shoe must have a beard. Must. [Craig mimics emoticon at the end of comment which is this one :D ]
Many, many, many, many, many, many many many many many many many of you said there should be a beard logo on the shoe. Alright I'm deciding now it will [text on Craig's mouth: be]. But where?
David Koranza said [shows comment] It shouldn't be overloaded with too many pictures.
I agree. If beardlovers are one thing, it's tasteful. But we're not. We're like a million things including distasteful. But one thing we are is tasteful. Let's make a classy-looking shoe. There'll be plenty of Wheezy-ness in there but we don't want to assault people with too many pictures. Or weapons. Or... we just don't wanna assault people at all.
Margaret Campbell wrote, [shows comment] Please, please, please, please, pleeeease make them low tops. Please. With a cherry on top.
This is an interesting idea, and I talked it over with Tweak. Unfortunately, they don't want to ship shoes out with cherries on top. You see, here in the States, there's a holiday coming up called Thanksgiving, and they need the cherries to make pie for their mother-in-law's dinner. They forgot to make casserole last year. And if they forget again this year, their mother-in-law will get really upset and emotional, and then her brother will yell at her for getting too emotional and Tweak's wife will take her mother's side, and then there'll just be a line of conflict right down the middle of the family that can only be resolved with an arm-wrestling match. And Grampa's arthritis can't take that, and the dog'll go crazy from all the shouting and poop the couch blanket. Let's keep their couch blanket poopless this year, huh? But I like the low top idea. Which is why I've decided to make it a skate-like shoe with a frame like this. [shows picture of shoe] This isn't the design of the shoe. This is just an example of the shape. And that's great 'cause I'm awesome at skating. Have you seen my eagleolly slap? [Gets on skateboard, rides it, jumps into air where the eagle is flying overhead, hits the eagle with his skateboard, lands the skateboard back on the floor.] I hate that eagle. Maybe there'll be a way to step on him with the Wheezy Shoe.
[Eagle squawks overhead]
Apparently the eagle doesn't like that idea. I wonder why that...
[A clone enters frame:] Hey!
[Craig:] What, clone?
[Clone:] I wanna be a part of the shoe.
[Craig:] Alright. You can be a part of the shoe if you do me a favor.
[Clone:] Yay! What?
[Craig:] Get to the alligator pit. Duh.
So, with all these things in mind, go to facebook dot com slash wheezywaiter. The link actually works now. And give me an idea for the final shoe design.
So, Team Beard, Supernote news. When I entered this competition, I expected to be somewhere in the middle or maybe at the bottom. I was just happy to be a part of the competition. But we're now in second place! So now I want to win! Because we're so close to victory, I can taste it. It has a sugary flavor. Chocolate cake texture. Frosting. Sprinkles. Oh wait, that might be this cupcake. [holds up cupcake]
Either way it's delicious. We have a little ways to go to get to first. And if you wanna help, please go to this video [points to clickable annotation] that explains the rules and leave a video response to that video of you doing a Supernote. And end with a wink. All of my videos this month are ending with Supernote winks that are video responses to this video. Such as this wink from Cynthia [text over Craig's mouth: at the end of this video] who has the all-time longest Supernote in the competition so far. She also has a YouTube channel called the cynchannel and you should go subscribe because her videos are good and she updates daily.
Whew. I'm asking you to do a lot in this video. You don't have to do any of it. You have to do all of it. Maybe. Please.
[Cynthia:] This is my Supernote for Team Beard, the only team that matters. [Text on screen: Just kidding.] Aaaaaaaa.... [Text on screen: Just kidding again. It's the only team that matters.] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. [Text on screen: Dying cat noises FTW.] [Text on screen: Total: 117 friggin seconds!] [She takes a big breath.] Happy birthday, Craig. [wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
I mentioned earlier that the person with the longest Supernote on Team Beard would get a free pair of Wheezy shoes. Well, now I'm changing that to two people. A male person and a female person. That's two people. Two pairs of shoes. Four shoes. I'm selfless. What can I say? You gonna eat that? I don't care. Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE! [Shoves cupcake into his mouth]
singing rug, beardlovers, headlines, Scarlett Johansson, Wheezy shoe, doobly-doo, emoticon expression, eagle, clone, alligator pit, Supernote, wink
Wheezynote Supershoe on YouTube