Wheezy vs Santa

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"Wheezy vs Santa"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 361
Original Upload date July 30, 2010
Running time 0:03:27
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by srodvision
Handstand Info
No. of Attempts 1
Did His Wallet Fall Out? No
No. Without the Wall: 0
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Wheezy Waiter Goes Bananas"
Next →
"Recovery Sleep"



[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. After watching yesterday's music video slash worldwide sensation slash anthem of our times entitled Bananas Bananas... Haven't seen it yet? Pfft. Well, you're the only one. Click here [points to clickable annotation] to watch it in yesterday's video, which I uploaded really late for reasons that will be apparent in the video... Don't click on my forehead, though. It tickles. Hee hee. You clicked on my forehead.
Anyway, after watching the video, splicegrrl wrote [shows comment] There also appears to be a photo of a woman who's stretching on top of your fridge.
You're absolutely right. Come here. I wanna show you all a photo of someone who's very important to me.
[Points to stretching woman on top of his fridge.] See, that's her right there. She likes to stretch a lot. She sent me this photo when she was traveling in India spreading the gospel of stretch. [Picks up photo] Oh wait. No, this is a cereal box. Who the hell is this girl? [Puts box back on top of fridge. Picks up a banana and throws it on the floor.]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Holding bowl of cereal and the box of cereal, looking at the stretching woman.] Jessica Smith. The sultan of stretch. Limber lady. Stretchy McStretch... girl. Flex-a-babe. The sexy flexy girl. Queen Elizastretch. Sweaty Betty... cause, you know, you sweat when you're stretching. Stretchin' with Gretchen. I'll have to talk to her about a name change.
I should be a publicist.
[Looks at empty bowl] Wow, I just brainstormed my way through this cereal.
So a lot of you ... WAY too many of you... have been commenting on the unruliness of my beard and how you don't appreciate it. Well, you haven't seen me do this! [turns to alternate camera angle and scruffs up his beard so it's even more unruly and long] Grrrrrrrr! How do you like that, Kahi? [shows comment by Kahi] Whatcha gonna do, Addictivemeh? [shows comment] Mickissocool? [shows comment by mickissocool1] More like Mick is so... looking at a more scraggly beard now! RicardoRangelJr [shows comment], Ha! This beard knock you down to sophomore or something! Heh.
[turns to another camera angle] Yes, Aunt Judy, this is how I spend my time. And yes, I'm proud of it. [turns to main camera angle]
As we know, I love to make a fool of myself. And I don't shy away from new and interesting ways to make a fool of myself. Which is why I did a video with supricky06 about Chicago. We did a music video featuring us making fools of ourselves all around the city.
[Talks over a few clips from the video.] We made fools of ourselves on sidewalk. By the Bean. By the garbage. And on the train. And other places.
[text on screen: youtube.com/supricky06 ] There's a link in the doobly-doo and at the end of this video to watch that video on supricky06's channel. [text on screen: youtube.com/bunnymynost ] Also, thanks to bunnymynost for videoing it for us.
EmilyMildlyLikesYou writes [shows comment] You might be my favorite person witha beard, except maybe Santa. It's nothing personal. It's just he brings presents. Then she made this face [mimics emoticon in her comment which is this one  :) ]
But I make this face. [Makes a frowny face.] You like Santa more than me? Puhleez Navidad! See what I did there?
There are ones of reasons why I'm better than Santa Claus. I made a list. And I only checked it once. [Holds up list] See? Look at that. I can do better handstands. I'll prove it.
[As Craig goes to do a handstand, a graphic of Santa also appears onscreen. Craig does a handstand. The graphic of Santa does one too.]
[Santa:] Ho ho... [Santa falls.]
[Craig finishes his handstand.]
See? I'm better at handstands than a pic[cough]ture of Santa Claus.
[Shot of stretching lady upside down on top of the TV] Looks like Stretchin' Gretchen is better than both of us. That's a weird handstand.
I admit. That was a picture. Hey, real Santa Claus, if you're watching, you think you can do a better handstand, send me a video response.
[Tapping list] I also got a bigger wardrobe variety. Especially now that I got new shirt designs. Segue! [picture of a segway] That's right! A bunch of new shirt designs! Check out this *shirt* [picture of a shirt]. And this *shirt* [picture of a shirt]. And this *shirt* [picture of a shirt]. And this *shirt* [picture of a shirt]. And this *shirt* [picture of a shirt]. And if you order this weekend, it's free shipping in US and Canada. You gotta order by Sunday, though. Link in the doobly-doo.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
This is just me after the outro reminding you to watch [points upwards] the Chicago video [a clickable annotation appears] or yesterday's Wheezy Waiter video [points to another annotation] or check out the new shirts [points to text on screen: wheezywaiter.spreadshirt.com]. Or you could watch Monday's video [points to another annotation]. But if you watch Monday's video on the day I uploaded this video, that means you are traveling through time because it doesn't exist yet. But it will exist in three days. Unless I don't make a video on Monday because I'm lazy or something. But I hope I do because I just said to click here to watch Monday's video. Am I still talking? That's amazing.

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, comments, alternate camera angle, comments, Aunt Judy, collab video, doobly-doo, emoticon expression, lists, handstand, segue, merchandise, *shirt*, wink


Why Wheezy Waiter is better than Santa
1) Video "presents" every week day.
2) I exist. I think.
3) I'm not (less) fat.
4) Bigger wardrobe variety.
5) I do better handstands.
6) I don't eat millions of cookies and millions of glasses of milk in one night.
7) Clones are better slaves than elves.
8) I don't care if you've been naughty or nice. Actually, I prefer naughty.

Related videos

The Chicago video on supricky06's channel is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGyUXBMc-ck

External links

Wheezy vs Santa on YouTube