Wheezy Treasure: Wrinkle of Secrets

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"Wheezy Treasure: Wrinkle of Secrets"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 370
2010
Original Upload date August 13, 2010
Running time 0:03:33
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by skyei
Great People
Guests: Matt Weber
Sam Grant
Nate Bartley
Mike Lust
Handstand Info
No. of Attempts 3
Did His Wallet Fall Out? No
No. Without the Wall: 3
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Your Perseus Is Showing"
Next →
"Karma Monkey"

Video

Transcript

[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Let's respond to a comment. Well, I will. You'll watch and listen.
[shows a comment by TheMattyo191] Exploding Wednesday should be a thing although I do wonder why Wednesday is spelled like that when we pronounce it Wensday like that, huh, that's weird.
Well, TheMattyo, people probably got sick of pronouncing it Wed-nes-day when it was easier to pronounce it Wensday. Over time, these things happen.
Like how instead of pronouncing it sword, we pronounce it sord.
Or instead of crazy drunk, we say crunk.
I can only say crazy drunk so many times in a day. So wasted right now. [Lifts bottle of beer]
Or instead of sandwich, we pronounce it sammich. Or I do.
Or instead of saying [text appears on screen] "Mellcious rants filled with racist gibberish proving that too much money and fame can cause a complete loss of reason," we simply say Mel Gibson. [All text on screen disappears except for "Mel" and "gib" and "son"]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
I gotta go to a friend's wedding tomorrow. So I'm practicing tying a tie. [Puts a tie around his neck.] Over the thing, under the whatnot, [slaps himself in the face with the tie] ow!, behind the ear [loops it behind his ear], into the pants [sticks it down his pants], under the leg, around the bookshelf, and done. Not bad.
Now it's time for a sammich. [Eats a sandwich in stop motion. Appears to eat his tie as well. Finishes the sandwich. He's not wearing a tie anymore.] Ahh, ohhhh, I ate my tie, didn't I? I'll have to use my other tie. My super secret awesome tie. And I don't mean the regular guy.
It's just right over... [looks over his shoulder. Then looks around.] I don't remember where it is. No wedding for me. [Sad music plays as Craig frowns]
So I didn't make a video yesterday. I was BUSY! The band I'm in, Driftless Pony Club, was recording in a studio. It's this awesome studio called Phantom Manor run by our friend Mike. But yesterday was hotter than the pits of hell. Here's a recap.
Matt sat on the couch drinking a beer. [Matt sitting on the couch drinking a beer]
I was super hot. [Craig roasting in flames.]
Sam played some acoustic guitar. [Sam playing guitar.]
I was super hot! [A guy's face melting off]
Nate did some drum overdubs. [Nate in the studio drumming.]
And I was super hot! [Picture of Scarlett Johansson] Yeah, it was that bad.
Guess what? It's mother*ding*in' handstand time, G. Peace. We out. [starts to get up but stops] No. No. I'm still... I'm still here. I'm gonna do a handstand. But I'm doing it without the wall again. [He tries to do a handstand but doesn't get all the way up.] Scared. [Tries it again but holds it for just a moment.] No. [Tries it again and falls forward in a scary-looking way. After falling, he gets up.] I'm okay! I'm okay.
I might still need the wall.
In the news today, CNN put up a picture of the possible Republican nominees for president in 2012. [shows picture] [Craig makes a scared sound.] Sorry, that picture scares me a little bit still.
[Picture of four pug dogs side by side] A CNN Opinion Research Corporation survey suggested that... wait, that's not the right picture, is it? Where's Sarah Palin? [Superimposes a photo of a dog with red lips] Oh, there we go.
Oh that's not the right picture. Sorry. The wrinkles confused me. Wrinkfusion. Confinkled.
[Shows the picture of the possible candidates again] Back to the other picture.
It still might be early for these polls to mean anything but ... wait a second... [Music plays as camera zooms in on the photo] Is this picture trying to tell me something? [Music plays as camera zooms in on Craig] What are you trying to tell me, CNN? [Zoom in on photo. Craig spins globe.] These wrinkle patterns match up a little too perfectly with the map of the United States. [Superimposes the picture of the candidates over the map of the US. He then tracing a route on the globe with his finger.] So forehead down past the nose of Ron Paul, over the eye wrinkles of Huckabee, right there on Gingrich's chin... Let's see, latitude, longitude divided by 17 minus 26... [holding his phone] Based on my GPS... [Craig is now over by his bookshelf. He takes a hat off the top of the bookshelf. Takes something out of it.] It's my tie! Thanks, Republican wrinkles. Now I can celebrate love. [looks at tie] This tie has a map too. Where does it lead? [Dramatic zoom and dun dun music] Ah, I'll probably just go to the wedding.
[Winker hits piano key as she winks]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Matt on a rooftop with skyline of Chicago in the background]
[Text on screen: Matt Weber. Guitarist/Songwriter. Driftless Pony Club. on the roof at Phantom Manor]
[Craig:] This is like... This is the shot of you want... um... following your dreams. [Matt gazes towards the Chicago skyline.]
[Craig:] I'm gonna rack focus to your dreams right now. What are you dreaming about?
[Matt:] Some day.... I'll go downtown.
[Craig:] And do what?
[Matt:] Go to a museum. Buy a hotdog. Ride a segway.
[Craig:] You did that already.
[Matt:] Oh. Well, dream fulfilled!

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, comments, sad face, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), Scarlett Johansson, *ding*, handstand, headlines, wink

External links

Wheezy Treasure: Wrinkle of Secrets on YouTube