Wheezy Phone 5

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"Wheezy Phone 5"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 689
2012
Original Upload date September 14, 2012
Running time 0:03:00
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by
Episode chronology
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Video

Transcript (in progress)

Hey beardlovers. I'm Intro Clone. I was made today specifically to do the intro. Well, it's been a lot of fun but my work here is done. I'll see you later. Aaaaaaa! Oh no I won't. I'm getting eaten by an alligator. Duh.
Wheezy Waiter
Hey guys! I'm Post Intro Clone. Welcome to the shoooooooooooow.
Thanks, guys. You've been a real timesaver. Why am I thanking you? You're dead.
- I heard that.
- Ghost Clone?
- Maybe. Or maybe it's your imagination. It's ambiguouuuuuuuuus.
It's my imagination.
So today I wanted to talk to you guys about something which is good because if I didn't I'd just be sitting here doing nothing.
Which would be kind of interesting in a weird to be weird sort of way, but so would this.
I don't really like weird to be weird. I like weird with purpose.
Brush your teeth twice a day!
See, there's a moral there. Anyway...
So unless you've been living under an iPhone 3, you know that the iPhone 4 has just come out! 5.
The iPhone 5 has just come out! Release date has been announced.
It takes me a really long time to get to my point.
I'm really excited about the iPhone 5. I'm sick of my stupid iPhone 4 and I'm glad I don't need it anymore.
Agh, it's jammed. Stupid iPistol 3.2. When are they gonna upgrade this?
There we go. Hehehehehe.
Now, to order my iPhone 5.
Pre-orders for Apple's iPhone 5 sell out in less than an hour.
What?
- I can't find my three-hole punch. Has anyone seen it? This is quite a bind. Whoa! Hey! Turn that gun upside down.
I mean frown. Frown. The frown upside down.
What's going on?
- The iPhone 5 is sold out.
- Why do you need an iPhone 5?
- There's a better camera?
- You already have four cameras.
- I do?
- That one. This one. That one. And that one.
- I don't remember there being a camera in the bathroom.
- Why else do you need an iPhone 5?
- Bigger screen?
- It's a phone, not a home theatre.
- Good point. I should probably cancel that popcorn machine order. It can handle calls better.
- It doesn't improve your personality.
- Right. No friends. It has an A6 processor.
- What does that even mean?
- That's six times better than A1.
- Steak sauce?
- Mmm. Nommies.
- You're going about this all wrong. We should be focused on improving ourselves and our business. Not something we don't need. That's the moral of this conversation.
- Okay. Yeah. I've changed my mind.
- Alright.
I am going to get that popcorn machine. But Corporate Clone has a point.
If Apple can slightly improve things and sell out, maybe I can sell out too! I didn't word that right.
But it's time for an update. The iPhone's lighter now so let's make my videos lighter.
And this camera sucks. Let's make it better.
There we go. Much better. Sometimes you can't realize how bad something is until you have something to compare it too.
And let's upgrade to 4G LTE connectivity.
There. I think we did.
Dual screen. Now this video's playing simultaneously behind me into your monitor.
And let's make a bigger screen.
Boom. Done. Screen's super huge right now. Not my fault that YouTube isn't ready for it yet. And that's a shame because I have a whole stage show going on behind me with dancing girls and tigers, even Siegfried and Roy. Ow! Watch your sleeve, Siegfried. Or is that Roy? Okay... It's Siegfried. Geez, you guys are sensitive about that.
Wheezy Waiter
Hey, End Screen Clone here. Hope you enjoyed the show. Down below you can see the daily vlogs are still going strong. Also some games have been played. Wheezy Waiter is pretty good at Zelda and horrible at Dark Souls. Well, I must be going now so I will see you later. Aaaaaaa!
The alligator's not eating me and he's eaten too much already today. Well, guess I'll just sit here... Oh no, he's eating me.

Recurring elements

[Coming soon]

External links

Wheezy Phone 5 on YouTube