|"Whale Bait - Invade London"|
|Original Upload date
August 13, 2012|
Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by
Transcript (in progress)
Alright, so dudes, listen up. Dudes, listen! Why won't you listen, dudes? Oh. Sorry. Dudes and lady dudes. I was being sexist. I apologize. Thank you for calling me out on that, politically correct dudes.
So I can't find my whale. I've tried everything. Literally everything. I've even tried this Whale-Locator-Enator that Aasha O'Neal gave me at the London gathering. But I have AT&T and it only works with Orcomcast. And US Belugalar. As well as Spermrizon. So that's not gonna work.
I've even checked another camera angle.
Seriously, name something and I've tried it.
- Mmm. Tunnocks Tea Cakes.
Okay... Maybe I haven't tried that. But anything else.
Oh, ouch. Very ouch. So you're saying I don't make jokes. Implying that they're not funny. That's very harsh, man. Or woman.
- I bet your whale is in the ocean man.
There's an ocean man? And why's my whale inside it? I certainly didn't see any ocean man when I went out on a boat on the Thames River looking for my whale. Nor did I see my whale.
- I don't see any whales yet. No whales.
I also didn't find it when I rode around on the London tube. This is the route I took. What? What?
How did I transport to that dot in the middle? Am I able to teleport?
I already knew that I can teleport.
Gah! The tripod's stuck in my leg! Aaa aaa aaagh!
Okay, that's better. I even headed over to the house of the YouTubers SortedFood to make whale bait.
So today we're making whale bait. This is how you catch a whale.
First, a little bit of sushi ginger.
Okay. Yep. You need the whole jar.
Then a little bit of fish sauce. Obviously.
Prawns. Whales love prawns. You just gotta rip the heads off. That's how you make prawns.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
That was good enough.
Obviously, we need some dressed lobster. So... agh, eagle! Okay.
Throw in a bit of sea salt. Whales, they're from the ocean. So... good job.
Ah, gherkin spears. So... Oh, no spears. No spears.
A little bit of blubber. So... Got some duck fat here. Might as well use my fingers. Using your fingers adds a nice saltiness to the duck fat.
Yeah. Mm. Mmm.
We've got some anchor cream right here. Gotta get a lot. You gotta make sure you get a lot of anchor in there to slow down the whale.
Finally, some lemon. For the zest. Duh.
Let's see what do we got here. We got... Oh, oops. I coughed a little bit. Probably should put some cough syrup in there.
Yeah, there we go. Looking good.
Make sure your chef's shirt is buttoned.
Another thing you need to remember. You need to add a whale call. So...
Oops. That was a mating call. I want to do 'Come here, whale, please.'
See the difference?
One more thing. Whales have blow holes. We have a blowtorch. So...
Hahahahahaha. Hahahahaaa. Gotta get it good and melty. And then we mash it up. Oh yeah. There... Oh. Gotta make sure you get that cardboard from that dressed lobster all nice and smashed. See? There's the eagle right there. Gotta mash him.
And after you mash it up you got a nice whale bait cocktail.
Mmm. Needs a little bit more propylene glycol. There we go. You're gonna be swimming with whales in no time.
And I totally thought that would work but after I made it I was walking and carrying it and a funny thing happened. I looked down, and I had already eaten it. Which is especially concerning because I think I may have eaten the glass bowl.
It's especially important that I find that whale very soon because I have to head home in a few days because my band Driftless Pony Club has a show.
We have our Chicago Magnicifent CD release show. All the info is in the doobly-doo. August 16th. You can also click right here to open up a new page and go to our website where all the info is.
Now I have to go. I think I heard a whale call.
Oh, camera's still on?
It's time for Team Super Jackal Hawk Tiger Explosioooon.
Whale Bait - Invade London on YouTube