|"Whale Another Day - Invade London"|
|Original Upload date
August 8, 2012|
Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by
Transcript (in progress)
Previously on Wheezy Waiter
Alex Day wrote a letter saying he has my whale and I have come to his secret lair. Charlie McDonnell wanted to help so he gave me a bulletproof jacket, an invisibility bow tie, and some tea. I got into a battle with Bobby and then Alex choked me and made puns.
- You should have eaten your pad thai.
And now Part 2 of the time that Alex had said he had my whale.
Was I asleep standing up?
- Welcome to the land of the living.
I wouldn't do that if I were you. These are my skilled pentathletes. Highly trained in fencing, freestyle swimming, horse jumping, and cross-country.
- What does that have to do with anything?
- Oh, and pistol-shooting. Did I forget to say pistol-shooting?
- Okay, yeah. It's making more sense now.
- And those are laser pistols. Your bulletproof jacket is of no use. Also, if you try to run this whole place is surrounded by a moat, a horse track, and a 3-kilometer cross-country course. You can never outrun them. They will catch you. And stab you with their fencing swords.
- They're called epees.
- If you run, you will ep-pay.
- Where's my whale? Why do you have it?
- I was hoping you'd ask. Your whale is crucial to my plan to take over the world.
- How are you taking over the world?
- It involves nuclear reactors, subsonic radiological sonar emissions, an algorithmic self-replicating malware virus. It's... it's very complicated.
- What does my whale have to do with it?
- Oh yeah. I don't have your whale. I just needed to get you here and keep you captive so you couldn't stop me.
- How would I stop you?
- You tend to make a lot of explosions on Wednesdays. And I need to reduce the heat of the planet in order for my plan to work. And it looks like my plan is all going according to plan. Hahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahahaha.
- Do you expect me to remain captive forever?
- No, Mr. Waiter. I expect you to die.
- I guess I'm gonna be here a while. Can you guys just shoot me? Please?
- Hey Wheezy.
- Charlie? How are you speaking to me?
- From down here. In your stomach. That tea I gave you was infused with nanotransmitters and receivers. They taste like strawberry. It's quite lovely. Now I can speak to you anywhere.
- Is that healthy?
- Well, I'd like to think that friendly conversation is good for the soul.
- No, that's not what I meant. There's two henchmen pointing guns at me. Can you help me get out of here?
- Calm down. I can help. But I will need more of me. I wish there was a way to...
- My cloning machine! You can take my cloning machine.
- Ahhh yes. Excellent. Where is it?
- It's in Buckingham Palace. On loan. They need more guards.
- Toodle pip.
- Charlie? Charlie? Guess I'll just wait here then.
- You guys ever go to the bathroom or.... ? Huh. Today is Wednesday. Did you know that? The reason I ask is because... Hey, isn't there an explosion right over there?
Ha, it worked. I'm not even sure if Explosion Wednesday's a thing. It might be. After a few tests. We'll see how the public reacts to it.
Oh dear. I guess they don't jump without their horses.
- Nice one, bro! Twinado!
- Augh! Who are you guys?
- He's getting away!
- Where are you going, man? We're fighting.
- I don't want to fight.
- The fight chooses you!
- Gemini javelin!
- It usually pierces flesh.
- Bulletproof jacket.
- Ohhhh. Not cool, bro.
- We didn't want to have to do this.
- Flying double lotus!
- He got away.
- It's alright. At least we have each other.
- Brothers for life. That's what I always say.
- There's something I've gotta tell you. We're clones.
- But we're twins.
- And by we, I mean you.
- I remember our whole life.
- You were cloned three hours ago.
- Great. Now I have some soul-searching to do.
- I could use a burger.
- What happened? Alex! Gasp! I escaped.
- Yeah? Good for you.
- So I see you found the cloning machine. Why didn't you come save me, Charlie?
- Ah yes, the cloning machine. It's quite lovely. We can watch so much TV now. Thank you Craig.
- No more worrying about who does the chores.
- Uh huh. Alex!
- Just kidding. Who cares?
- Life is wonderful. I'll never live BC again.
- So the plan all along was to get the cloning machine?
- Absolutely. And you performed admirably.
- But you left me to die.
- I was sure you were gonna make it out of there.
- Pretty sure.
- How did you get past the Buckingham Palace guards?
- More like the Buckingham Palace disregards. What? Up top!
- They're pretty much just for show.
- I can't allow everyone to have clones. The world will descend into madness. You have to kill them now.
- Don't worry. We're the only ones with clones. Because we're the ones with the cloning machine. Your days... Um... Well, we can just make more clones, right? That'll be fine. Uhh... Ummm... That is... I thought we were gonna hide the cloning machine. Wasn't your clone gonna hide the cloning machine?
- I thought your clone was gonna hide it. And pick up your wrapper.
- My wrapper? What about your soft drink?
- What about my soft drink? Pick up your wrapper.
- I... It's... both of our mess. Just...
- Well then why don't you pick up both of them?
- It's not my mess!
On 3. 1... 2... 4. Just kidding. Haha! 1... 2... 3...
Job well done. I got my cloning machine back. And now I own a bulletproof jacket and a disappearing bow tie. Transparency.
Oh. Guess it doesn't disappear anymore. That's okay. I've never owned an actual real bow tie before. It's a clip-on.
Well, at least I found my wha.... I still haven't found my whale!
Wosteshire. Worste... Worstesshir. I don't remember how to say it.
Super Jackal Hawk Tiger Explosion. Team Wheezy Waiter. Super Jackal Hawk Tiger Explosion. Team Wheezy Waiter.
Whale Another Day - Invade London on YouTube