[Wheezy Waiter chips and salsa intro]
Greetings wheezies. It's October 5th. My birthday. [blows a noisemaker]
I said I wanted Veronica Mars but they gave me Biker Mice from Mars.
For my birthday, this morning I did what I do ever morning -- look up myself on the internet.
And I discovered on CNN dot com what I thought was a giant article about me but it was actually about Senator Larry Craig from Idaho.
What's the deal with Larry Craig, Ashleigh?
[Ashleigh:] He has gay sex in airports.
Care to elaborate?
[Ashleigh:] Larry Craig's a senator from Idaho who was entrapped by an undercover police officer and accused of soliciting gay sex in a Minneapolis airport bathroom stall.
Hmm... that sounds pretty controversial. I wonder how his kids feel about that. Let's act it out to the tune of Little Mermaid's "Part of Your World."
[Ashleigh and Craig singing]
I don't listen to what people say.
My dad has a wide stance for pooping.
He doesn't rub cops with those ... what do you call 'em? ... feet.
Like Elton John, Napoleon, some people say that gay sex is fun.
But not my dad. And he won't be part of that world.
I couldn't live if he got [???] in an airport bathroom.
What would I say if he got laid by a grown man?
My dad's legit. He took a shit. We shouldn't reprimand our leaders.
He's complex, likes butt sex, but not with a man.
My dad's not gay but he's funny sometimes.
Said he was innocent but pleaded guilty.
Now they all want him to ... what's the word? ... resign.
He said that's fine, then changed his mind, people have gay sex all the time,
But not my dad, and he won't be part of that world.
[Picture of Larry Craig winks] [wink (ding)]
[wheezywaiter dot com outro]
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Two Craigs, One Birthday on YouTube