From Wheezy Wiki
|Original Upload date||January 25, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||xMoreTx|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Eat beard! [puts his beard up to the camera]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
How was that for you? Could use a little salt, huh? [sprinkles some salt on his beard] For next time.
Hey. What's up? Dogs can tweet now.
Did you know Mattel is releasing a toy called Puppy Tweets which you attach to the dog's collar. [touching his neck] This bare neck represents a collar. It detects what the dog's doing and then tweets about it automatically. So if the dog is running around... who wants to be the dog to demonstrate? You?
[Craig, sitting further back in the apartment, raises his hand eagerly]
[Craig, close to the camera, shakes his head and continues to search for a volunteer.]
[Craig, raising his hand as high as it will go:] Me! Pick me! Pick me!
[Craig, close to the camera:] Alright, I'll do it.
[Craig, sitting further back in the apartment, lowers his hand:] Oh *ding*!
[Craig, close to the camera:] I am you.
[Craig, sitting further back, brightens up:] *Ding*!
So if the dog is running around [Craig is on all fours, pretending to be a dog running around] a tweet automatically goes out that says [text on screen, which Craig reads in a funny voice:] I finally caught that tail I've been chasing and... OOUUUCHH!
And if he's making a ruckus, [Craig bark-howls like a dog] it says
[Title on screen that Craig reads in a funny voice:] YAHOOOOOOO! Somedays you just gotta get your bark on.
[sitting in chair, with a book, wearing glasses:] And if he's reading Crime and Punishment, it says
[Title on screen that he reads:] I think C & P is an effective commentary on the doctrines of Russian Nihilism, but The Brothers Karamazov was the most rebarkable achievement by the great Dogstoyevsky LOL
I think that one might be more than 140 characters. They have counters.... letter counter experts... figuring that out.
Now I have an important question for you. What do you think a dog should tweet?
Hey there, me from a different camera angle.
[turns to alternate camera angle:] Who me?!
Yeah you. It's Monday. How's that make you feel?
[Craig from alternate camera angle:] Like complete *shirt*.
Fear not, my friend, who is me. I have a cure.
[Craig from alternate camera angle:] What? Coffee?
Coff... [shakes head] No. Prancing. And coffee.
[Craig gets up and leaps and twirls to the kitchen.]
[Craig from alternate camera angle:] What a strange man.
[Craig comes out of kitchen with coffee.] I love it when the coffee's done. [sips coffee]
[Winker with whooshing eyes looks left and right and then winks (explosion sound)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Title on screen: Stuff you told me to say in the comments] [comments are shown at bottom of screen as Craig says them]
[Craig, wearing glasses and reading a book, licks his finger to turn the page, notices the camera, speaks in a British accent:] Oh! [slams book shut] I didn't see you come in! [comment by TrueDragofox]
Like oh my gosh you guys, I bought these new shoes like oh my gosh they're so sexy like gosh! [comment by OmgWtfuTubeLol]
How much oil could a gum boil boil if a gum boil could boil gum boil oil? [comment by timelordcreation]
[Craig leans towards camera, very serious.] Table. [comment by Mrsir2]
[speaking like Yoda] Ready are you? What know you of ready? For 800 years have I trained Jedi. [in his regular voice:] Fast forward a little bit. [speaking like Yoda again:] Never his mind on where he was. Hmm. What he was doing. Hmm. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless. [comment by AlwayzJeremy]
[extreme closeup of Craig's mouth:] We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams. [comment by SodaBoatCaptain]
This is the first time Craig says "eat beard!".
The wink references Craig's video Bulgy.
Tweeting Dog? on YouTube