|Original Upload date||August 17, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Un5een|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. [A clone behind him beats the globe like a drum.] It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. What day is it today? [leans towards computer] Oh right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right, it's Tuesday.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Did you know that Tuesday is [shows Wikipedia page] derived from the Old English word Ti... that thing. [highlights "Tiwesdæg"] and it literally means Tiw's Day.
Tiw refers to the proto-Germanic god Teiwaz, the god of war and law. Yeah. I read Wikipedia.
Get ready for an all-out war!! And a firmly enforced set of rules.
Teiwaz is associated with the Roman god Mars [statue of Mars]. And Mars is associated with Mars [picture of candy bar Mars], which is associated with Mars [picture of the planet]. And Mars rhymes with cars [lots of pictures of cars], which is associated with the movie Cars [movie poster for Cars]. And movies are typically released for rental on a Tuesday. See how it kind of all connects like that?
Am I crazy?
In the US, elections are typically held on a Tuesday. That's the day I may have voted for the *ding*ing *pants*hole Rod Blagojevich. Sorry about that, world.
[shows Wikipedia day for Tuesday again] Black Tuesday refers to October 29th 1929 when the U.S. stock market crashed.
Glad we don't have to worry about those economic problems anymore. [laughs] Hehehe! [looks worried] Ohhhh!
I know for a fact that I was born on a Tuesday. Well, I don't really know. There's a one in seven chance.
Actually, is there? Let's check the numbies. That's short of numbers... in my world.
[Shows article from website babycenter.com] It appears that midweek is more likely. Last year was the first year that Wednesday beat out Tuesday as the most likely day to be born since 1990.
So, it's a pretty good chance that I was born on a Tuesday.
Ah, the random things you learn when you look up random things for no reason except that you like to hear yourself talk about stuff.
[Back to Wikipedia article on Tuesday] Patch Tuesday is the second Tuesday of every month when Microsoft releases its patches.
It's also the day I watch Patch Adams. [Footage of Craig crying in front of his TV:] I'm laughing and crying at the same time. [Cries]
Tuesday Weld is an actress. [Picture of her] [Craig makes a purring sound] [Another picture of her] Yowza! [Another picture of her] Cat noises. [Picture of Scarlett Johansson] Hey, that's Scarlett Johansson. How'd she get in there? Hehehehe. You know what happens when you're looking at pictures and stuff.
I'm not trying to get Scarlett Johansson's attention or anything by making her appear in half of my videos.
What does Ryan Reynolds have that I don't have? Besides a successful film career, tons of money, and abs like a ninja turtle. [Side by side pictures of Ryan Reynolds and a ninja turtle]
Alright, maybe I'll stick with Tuesday Weld. She's single. And 67.
Alright, now I gotta bring it home. Did you know that Tuesday Weld [picture of her] is in the movie Looking For Mr. Goodbar [movie poster] which is owned by Hershey [picture of a Mr. Goodbar candy bar] which is a rival of Mars [picture of Mars candy bar] which is the Roman god of war [statue of Mars]. The proto-Germanic god Teiwaz [picture] is also a god of war, which is where Tuesday gets its name. [pauses] I'm bat*shirt* crazy.
So there's Tuesday for you. I think my favorite day of the week is now... Saturday. Tuesday's in the top eight, though.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
So I think I'm gonna do handstands in a separate video from now on on my other channel. Bing! [points to clickable annotation] Right there.
Also, another reminder to vote for the Platoon of Power Squadron. Link in the doobly-doo if you haven't voted yet. Please do it. Help it get in front of Hollywood people so it can be on TV and things or whatever.