From Wheezy Wiki
|Original Upload date||July 19, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Shmiefman|
|No. of Attempts||1|
|Did His Wallet Fall Out?||No|
|No. Without the Wall:||0|
[slides in/singing rug]
[Craig sings:] Heeeeeeeeeeey!
[A clone leans in from the kitchen:] Heeeeeeeeeeey!
[As they sing, a series of images appear on the screen:]
[A picture of Fonzie with his thumbs-up]
[Picture of Fat Albert with "Hey Hey Hey" written over it]
[Picture of Sloth from The Goonies "Hey you guys!"]
[Picture of Shay Carl with the "s" and "carl" on his hat crossed out so it just says "hay"]
[Rolls of hay]
[As clone continues singing, Craig stops and says:] beardlovers. [turns to kitchen. Clone stops singing when Craig starts talking.] Why aren't you doing your chores, clone?
[Clone:] I... I was just... gonna...
[Craig shakes his head]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So at the beginning of my last video, I told you to lean in and then I [makes air quotes] "accidentally" put egg on your face. Well, thedude97000 wrote [shows comment] "I leaned away cuz I don't trust you, you trickster."
[Craig appears shocked] A... F... Buh... Whaa.... Cha... Ya... Don't trust me? I gotta regain your trust. Come on. Lean in. [Closeup of Craig] Closer. [Closer up closeup of Craig] Closer! [Extreme closeup] Good. Okay, you leaned all the way in? Are you here? [Angelic sound as an image of flowers fill the frame] Mm. Those flowers smell great.
Good stuff, huh? If you didn't lean in, I guess you missed out. And that is why you should blindly trust everything. You may get egg on your face, but you won't miss the flowers. Lesson taught!
You know what else I trust blindly besides... umm... everything? Our top-secret US government operations, which the Washington Post just reported after a two-year investigation is growing wildly out of control. [shows article] If I can trust that, my trust is very powerful.
I'm so strong!
[shows article again] Apparently there are about 10,000 locations working on homeland security counterterrorism and intelligence across the United States. With a population of about 854,000 people.
Yeah. Right. If that were true, I'd be bumping into top secret people all the time. I'm gonna go prove that my trust is correct. [gets up and walks towards kitchen] Where is the top-secret operations? [walks into kitchen]
[A clone enters from the left side of frame, talking on phone, holding a gun.] Danzig mother, this is Sonny Bono. The polar bear has fallen off the iceberg. I repeat, the crouton has fallen from the salad. Ginger Spice has left the Spice Girls and started a successful solo career. Remember, if he gets within five feet, shoot to kill. Probably should have come up with a better code word than shoot to kill. He's coming back, he's coming back. Back to your positions everybody. [hangs up phone and starts sweeping the floor]
[Craig walks back in] Hey, stupid clone. [walks up to camera] See? Nothing to worry about.
And I can always trust when the coffee's done. [turns to alternate camera angle] I love it when the coffee's done! [Runs into kitchen] Wait. The coffee's empty? Noooooo! Oh. Hahaha. That's the microwave. [Closes the microwave door] There's lots of coffee. [shows the coffee pot] I can't decide what there's more of - coffee or my embarrassment.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[sits down and sips the coffee] Now let's see if I can trust my wall to hold me up when I do a handstand. [Does a handstand. There's a creaking noise. Title on screen: *Apartment Falls Over*] Hmm. Trust betrayed. I'll never trust again. Or perhaps walk.
Craig refers to the previous day's video, Oodles and Oodles.