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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 212
Original Upload date November 15, 2009
Running time 0:02:57
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by lauradoestheastro
Great People
Guests: A photo of Ty
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Stab Stab Stab"
Next →
"Ding in Space"



[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug] [The camera is on the floor so only Craig's foot is on frame.]
Hey beardlovers.
Huh. Something's wrong here. My foot looks weird. Does my foot always look this weird? What's... what's... what's different? Does my foot usually wear a hat? Let's see. [drops a hat on top of his foot] No, that's not right. Huh. Uhh... Oh, maybe it smokes a cigar. Yeah.
[slides in] Hey beardlovers. [Has cigar on his foot that falls off when he stops] Nope, that didn't work.
[slides in] Hey beardlovers. [Has a pair of sunglasses on his foot] No. Feet don't wear sunglasses.
Is my foot usually naked? Hey beardlovers. [His naked foot steps into frame to music playing. A black box that says 'Censored' is over his foot.] Oh no, that wouldn't be allowed on YouTube.
What's different here? [Gets on floor and bends down so he can look into the camera.] Oh yeah! My face! I don't usually show my feet. Ugh, the tripod's in the car. I don't want to go get it.
What if I use an iPod? [puts iPod under the camera] No.
They Might Be Gi-pod? [holds up a They Might Be Giants CD (Apollo 18). Puts it under camera.] No.
Return of the Jedi-pod? Special edition? [holds up Return of the Jedi. Puts it under camera.] Ugh, the force is strong with this one. I'm a dork.
Princess Di-pod? [puts a picture of Princess Di under the camera] Yeah, no.
Ty-pod? [holds up a picture of Ty] That's my friend. His name's Ty. [puts it under camera] And he does not hold up a camera!
The Oath of Horatii-pod? [holds up a picture of painting Oath of the Horatii. Puts it under camera.] Ugh, maybe I should have used post-French Revolution art.
Guess I just have to hold it. [picks up camera]
[slides to right/singing rug] Hey beardlovers. [He doesn't move camera with him so it's pointing over his shoulder] So today I wanted to talk about... Hmmm.
[Now camera is pointed at Craig's neck and shoulder] So today I wanted to talk about the... [sighs, exasperated] This isn't working.
If I had any friends, I could call one of them up and have them hold the camera. Uhh.... well, there's Ty, but I pay him to be my friend. A lotta money. Friendship is expensive. Maybe I'd have more friends if I didn't creep 'em out by talking to myself all the time.
I got it! I'll clone myself. Alright, here goes. [Camera is on floor again. We can see Craig's feet.] And clone! [Another set of feet appear]
[Clone:] Sweet! I exist! Going to the bar to get wasted!
[Craig:] Wait! No, you gotta hold the camera! Ugh!
Well, I guess if you wanna do something right [picks up camera off floor], you gotta blah dee blah. I'm gonna go get the tripod.
[Craig walking outside] Oh crap. Where did I park? Ugh!
I didn't park it in outerspace. [Craig in front of an image of space/stars]
Nor did I park it in Antarctica. [Craig in front of a bunch of penguins] Oooh, look at the penguins!
Hmm. Didn't park it inside itself. [Craig in front of an image of the inside of a Ford]
[caught in front of wall that he's been using as green screen] Nor in front of my white bedroom wall. [clears throat]
Oh! I parked right in front of my apartment. [shot of Fiesta]
[back in his apartment] Alright. Got it. Time for some hardcore video blogging. Alright, what I wanted to talk to you about today was... [falls asleep. snores. wakes up suddenly] What was I doing? Oh yeah, sleeping. [falls back asleep. snores.]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig, still sleeping and snoring, slides off chair and onto the floor. Wakes up.] Huh, this would work if the camera wasn't on the tripod.

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, "I'm a dork.", clone, wink


This is the first video that features the outro of the drawing of Craig in his sunglasses. This first time, the name under the image of Craig is spelled 'Weezy Waiter.' It was fixed in the next video. This outro replaces the outro. The outro music remains the same.

External links

Tripodyssey on YouTube