Trinidad NOT Tobago
From Wheezy Wiki
|"Trinidad NOT Tobago"|
|Original Upload date||August 31, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Dan Morash|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I was reading this CNN article with the headline [shows article] Bipolar disorder: Your thoughts?
I don't really have any thoughts on it other than EXTREME ANGER!! [banjo face] [dramatic zoom/dramatic music] [sad face/sad music] What's bipolar disorder?
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So tonight in the U.S., Obama is giving a primetime speech in which he will talk about [shows article] the end of combat operations in Iraq [pronounces it i-rack]. Iraq [pronounces it eye-rack]. Iraq [pronounces it i-rock]. Iraq [pronounces it eye-rock]. [sings:] Let's call the whole thing off. Or ended [highlights word "ends" in headline". Or concluded [highlights "conclusion" in article]. Despite that we still have a lot of work to do [highlights quote about that in article] refocusing our U.S. resources in the global flight against al Qaeda [highlights that in article]. [Smiles]
So if it's primetime in the U.S. for you right now, which it might not be because this video might be uploaded after the speech, which do you think is more important for you to be watching? Obama? Or me punching a clone? [A clone slides into frame. Craig punches him.]
[Craig smiles.] I think you know the answer. I'm not gonna answer for you. [points to himself]
[Clone:] What about a clone punching you?
[Craig:] What are you talking about?
[Clone punches Craig: Clone sits back and smiles.]
[Craig:] Augh! I see what you mean.
Well, I guess it's time to eat spinach. [holds up bag of spinach] Mmm. Delicious spinach. [Eats spinach] I'm gonna be strong like Popeye. Oh! It's a year old and riddled with salmonella. I'm going to be sick.
Hey! It's August 31st. Happy Independence Day [shows Wikipedia page] to Kyrgyzstan, Malaysia, and Trinidad and Tobago.
Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait! [breathes in and out rapidly in extreme closeup]
Trinidad AND Tobago? Which is it? I'm gonna Wikipedia the 'and' outta that.
[shows Wikipedia page] Trinidad and Tobago consists of two main islands, Trinidad and Tobago. Trinidad is the larger and more populous of the main islands. Tobago is much smaller. Whaaat?! Tobago, just get over your tiny self and be part of the country of Trinidad. [shows map of the U.S.] It's called calling my country the United States of America and Alaska and Hawaii and Rhode Island and sometimes Guam.
Think of the time I would have saved when I wished you a Happy Independence Day. In fact, I am going back in time right now and I am going to change that. [Walks out of frame] Time travel noises.
[Past Craig is about to eat spinach. Future Craig leans into frame.]
[Future Craig:] Don't eat that.
[Past Craig:] Oh! Thank you! You must be Craig from the future. What brings you here?
[Future Craig:] I'm here to take care of the Trinidad and Tobago problem.
[Past Craig:] Cool. I'm gonna go get drunk. [gets up and leaves]
Happy Independence Day to Kyrgyzstan, Malaysia, and TRINIDAD. [Makes crazy eyes]
Guess I just wasted the same amount of time with the crazy eyes.
Another headline I found... [shows article] Be polite and put your smartphone down.
It's all about using our smartphones way too much on the sidewalk, in restaurants, [shows article] during sex. Yeah, it's true. I'm as surprised as you that people actually have sex. While I agree that in certain instances it can be extremely rude, I like to think that I have a healthy handle on my... [grabs iPhone, looks at it, laughs] Just a second... [laughs] ... Oh man... That's actually really funny. Just a second. I gotta finish this reply. [laughs] Oh man. You wouldn't... you wouldn't underst... you wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke. And done.
Craig with a Wig, what do you think of smartphones?
[Craig with a Wig:] Smartphones, which I hate, allow people, who I hate, to be connected easily wherever they go throughout the world, which I hate. It also distracts people so they're not bothering me. [Amazed] I actually like smartphones.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [turns head and smiles] [toy piano key]
In even more news, [shows article] Toddler walks two blocks to reach medical help for her father.
Psssh! Pssssssh! Puhleez. If you can walk, you can know where a doctor is. A little kid walks two blocks, it makes national news? I walk places all the time to do stuff! I'm gonna do it right now and it better make national news! Here I go! [gets up and walks towards kitchen] Oop, my pants are vibrating. [Takes out iPhone, walks into kitchen reading from it and laughing. Walks into the street below, looking at his phone. Gets hit by a car.]
[Craig, inside:] Ooh! Looks like Craig from the future just got killed. Better remember not to do that when I go into the past. [Looks at his iPhone] Oooh, new Twitter at-reply. [turns and walks away, typing on his phone] Walks blindly outside.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Puhleez. Puhleez. Puhleez. Please? Puhlease. Please please? Pleasey please? Puhleez, I can walk two blocks!
singing rug, beardlovers, headlines, banjo face, sad face, clone, Wikipedia, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait..., breathing being his thing, time travel, Craig with a Wig, wink, outtakes, time travel
This is the first time that Craig does wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait....
Trinidad NOT Tobago on YouTube