Tore Tower Two-er
|"Tore Tower Two-er"|
|Original Upload date||November 11, 2011|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Outro||video game outro|
|Wink submitted by||ZachsVlog|
audience in Hamilton, OH
[Craig is in a van. We can hear his thoughts.] Ahh, feels good to be back on tour. [Looks around the van. Nate in the front passenger seat. Sam driving. Matt's sitting next to him with a plastic bag over his head.] Oh, looks like Matt's having trouble sleeping again.
[Craig looks down at his own computer. On the monitor, there are many images of his monitor. They extend on and on and on.] Huh? Whaa... Infinity! [Waves his hand in front of his monitor. Many, many images of hand going by are visible on his screen.] Wait a second. [Takes out a dollar. Holds it up to the screen. Many dollar bills can be seen onscreen.] I'm gonna be rich! [Craig smiles] Cha-ching!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
That's right, beardlovers. We are on tour... tore, tower, too-ey... AGAIN. People say I say that wrong so I decided to say it all the ways.
So far we have been to the following. DFTBA Headquarters.
[Shot of Sam exiting a building.]
[Craig, who's filming:] Sam! Act like you're walking in for the first time!
[Sam walks up to the door:] Oh, what have we here? Oh look! The Distribution Center for our record label. Wow! [Sam enters. Nate and Matt follow him in.]
We went there to pick up CDs and t-shirts. And to swoon over Charlie. [shows Charlie's CD. Craig swoons, fans himself.]
Oh, and we also played an awesome show in Ohio! [The Hamilton, OH audience cheers and waves.]
And stayed at Matt's sister's house in Cincinnati.
[Text onscreen: Matt's sister's house]
[Matt, wearing a wig and talking in a funny voice:] Hi! I'm Matt's sister.
[Sam, who has a wig superimposed over his hair, pops up next to Matt and talks in a falsetto:] I'm Matt's sister too.
[Craig, with a wig superimposed over his hair, pops up on the other side of Matt and talks in a high voice] Me too!
[Nate enters the frame, also with a superimposed wig, walks into frame. Talks in his own voice:] I'm a girl.
[Craig, in the van, looks confused.]
And tonight, November 11th, 1 1 1 1 1 1, we play in Rochester New York State. Boulder Coffee Company. 100 Alexander Street. And then tomorrow we play in Brooklyn at the Legion Bar. That's 21 plus. Oh waah waah waah, we're playing on Monday in Manhattan, though. And that one's all ages at the Local 269.
[Sam, offscreen:] Hey, remember in Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back when Mark Hamill got into a car accident before production and they wrote it into the movie that he got attacked by the snow monster so that his face would look normal even though it was messed up?
[Craig:] That has nothing to do with anything! [punches Sam, who's still offscreen]
[Sam, who has some scabs on his forehead:] Augh! You just messed my face up just now!
[Craig:] Oh my gosh, I'm sorry.
[Nate turns around from the front seat:] Hey! I'LL do the beating around here.
[Craig:] Oh Jeff, just because you're drummer doesn't mean... Wait, you're not Jeff.
[Craig:] You're Nate, the original drummer of Driftless Pony Club who couldn't go on tour with us before but now you can.
[Nate nods. Then bangs on Craig's forehead:] Bang, bang, bang on your head. This joke is old, and now it's dead.
[Craig:] Since you're such an original drummer of DPC, why don't you talk about the origin of something?
[Nate looks at camera:] OKAY!
[Theme song plays as Nate looks out the window thoughtfully, lost in deep reflection. The theme song is Nate singing:] Where did it come from? And what does it mean? Origins! [As song ends, title appears onscreen: 'ORIGINS with Nate']
[Nate:] Many people have some different opinions as to where the first skyscraper was built. [yells] I know I have a few! [back to not yelling:] But according to fact, which I found on the internet, it was built in 1885 in Chicago. The Home Insurance Building by Lee Baron Jennings. And by Lee Baron Jennings, I mean LeBaron Jenney. [shows a drawing of him from Wikipedia] Betcha didn't know that, did you, son? You been originalized!
[As the title ORIGINS appears onscreen, the closing theme song is almost a whisper:} Origins.
[Craig:] Huh. Hey Matt, now you do something.
[Matt, who's driving, turns to camera:] I shall dance!
[In the DFTBA Distribution Center, Matt rolls on a spinny chair and dances in the chair. The song that's playing while Matt dances is Matt repeating the word 'dance':] Dance dance dance dance dance dance. Matt. I'll do the dancing around here. [song and dance over]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
[Winker has a wig on. A theme song plays as he slowly turns his head and smiles:] He's Zachity Zach. Zach with a Wig. [He winks (ding)]
[Nate:] By Lee Baron Jennings, I mean Lee Baron Jenney. [Matt laughs]
[Craig:] I think it's Le Baron. [They all laugh]
[Nate:] I know I have a few.
[Craig:] Can you do it louder and more angry?
[Nate:] I know I... [laughs. They all laugh.] Still rolling? I know I have a few!
[Craig:] That was good.
Tore Tower Two-er on YouTube