[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug]
Good morning beardlovers. Little toast and Nelly. [holds up bread and jelly]
[Lip syncs "It's Hot in Here" while spreading jelly on the toast. Dances in his chair a little while eating the toast and jelly. Craig lip-syncs the line "I wanna take my clothes off" shirtless.]
That's probably enough of that.
So February's coming to a close. We've had some good times these past two months, haven't we? Remember when this happened?
[Slaps a slap bracelet onto his wrist.] Woo!
[Craig as his hypothetical mother at the window:] I don't care about your *ding*ing reminiscing.
And this happened a lot.
[A clone sits beside Craig. Clone punches Craig.]
[Craig:] Owww, we're going to look back at this one day...
[Clone:] And what? Look back on it and what?
[Craig:] I don't know. Just look back on it.
Remember when I broke down and cried?
[Craig fake cries] I don't even know why I'm crying.
Remember when I broke down and laughed?
[Craig sitting quietly. Suddenly:] HA!
Remember when I broke down and remained calm?
[Craig exhales deeply.]
Well, I'm looking back right now because I'm taking a break next week.
I need a rest.
You should take the opportunity to go back and watch all 132 of my videos.
I'll be posting reruns on wheezywaiter dot com. I'll also have a new video auto-playing on my YouTube channel every day. So that's two Wheezy Waiter videos in one day. That's even better than what we've got going on now.
But seriously, thank you for an awesome two months. Oh *shirt* it's Free Bagel Friday.
[Craig's boss walks up to a bagel and goes to put cream cheese on it. Craig grabs his shoulder, turning him around to punch him. A funny alarm sound can be heard chiming. Craig holds up his phone and looks at it.]
[Craig, to camera:] Oh, I guess my break's starting now. See you guys in a week. [Turns and walks away.]
[Craig's boss:] Break???!! [He looks behind him and then throws himself backward as if he's been punched, even though Craig is nowhere in sight]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
singing rug, beardlovers, breakfast puns, slap bracelet, hypothetical mother, *ding*, clone, *shirt*, Free Bagel Friday, wink
Toast and Nelly on YouTube