[slides in/singing rug]
Hi beardlovers. First of all, I'd like to apologize. My video went up late yesterday and there's a good reason for this. It involves a long story. Let's start from the beginning. First of all, EXPLOSION!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
It's Wednesday [throws a pen in the air that explodes], Wednesday [throws something else in the air that explodes. Then turns to alternate camera angle and holds up bubble tape] Explosion [throws it. It explodes] Wednesday.
That's right. It's Explosion Wednesday, the day I make a video that always has something to do with explosions. Usually. Oftentimes. I'm still not sure if I'm gonna make it a thing or not.
Hey, let's check the comments from yesterday's video. I'm gonna go over here [slides slowly out of frame], which represents checking the comments for some reason.
crazygothvixen writes [shows comment] History Craig is hotter than present Craig.
You're absolutely right, crazy. I was fiiiiiine. [shows still from his first video] I was even hotter when I was younger. Check out this picture of me when I was seven. [Picture of a female model pulling on the waistband of her jeans] Yowza! Puberty was quite a... transformative time for me.
Hey wait! That comment was an insult! [shows comment again] I EXPLODE your comment [Comment explodes and is replaced by a heart] and replace it with love.
Hey Craig with a Wig, it's Explosion Wednesday. What are you gonna do next?
[Craig with a Wig:] Make an explosion. Explosion. [Explosion]
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [turns head and smiles] [toy piano key]
Even his explosions are depressing. He has a unique talent. I wish there some way to monetize it. How do you monetize depression? Who could I use as a reference? Oh I know! [Shows pictures of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears, all crying] 90 percent of all famous people!
Making fun of depressed people is funny. Hehehe. [cries] Hehehe. [cries]
When I get depressed, I just use my banjo face. [banjo face] [Makes a serious face] [Makes a banjo face again] [Makes a serious face]
So. Bubbles. What's up with them?
[shows article] Researchers have used a high-speed camera to reveal what exactly happens when a hemispheric bubble BURSTS.
Apparently what they discovered is a hemipsheric bubble pops and then it folds in on itself and creates a doughnut-shaped bubble. That bubble separates into tiny bubbles. [shows picture] We solved the mystery of the hemispheric bubble. All researchers of the world can go retire now or work in retail or something.
Really, the only reason I told you about the bubbles story is because I wanted to do this. [Holds up Homer Simspon doll. Pushes button on its foot. A song plays.]
[Homer doll sings:] Tiny bubbles... In the wine... make me happy... make me feel fine.
That is the culmination of three years of building up a YouTube audience.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Now just a warning. I may not get to a video tomorrow because of things. If I don't, I give you my most heartfelt EXPLOSION!
singing rug, beardlovers, Explosion Wednesday, exploding pens, comments, Craig with a Wig, banjo face, headlines, wink
Tiny Bubbles on YouTube