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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 317
Original Upload date May 24, 2010
Running time 0:02:06
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by bipbopwhale
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
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"Hot Dude"



[slides in/singing rug]
[Craig's wearing sunglasses. Pointing at his sunglasses with an expression very similar to one he had during the song in the previous day's video.]
Hey beardlovers. [Takes off sunglasses. Where sunglasses were, his skin is white. Too white.]
Oh man. I've been wearing these sunglasses too long.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Craig slapping his eyes] There we go.
The final episode of Lost aired in America last night. Hey, wanna see a reenactment of the ending? Spoiler alert. The following is not a spoiler. And here it is.
[Thump noise as the screen goes black]
[Craig sings:] Aaaaaaa! [Title for Lost comes up.]
I guess that kind of was a spoiler. That actually happened. Sorry. I ruined it. For everyone. [Thump noise as another title comes up. Title reads: Ruined] Stop it!
Craig with a Wig also enjoyed watching... or watched Lost.
[Craig with a Wig:] I feel good because I have one more weekday evening free to do other things... that I hate. And I hate things that feel good.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [Craig with a Wig smiles] [Thump noise as another title comes up. Title reads: Craig with a Wig] [Craig:] Stop it!
And so ends an era of people... [Area around Craig's eyes gets really white again.] Oh! Tan lines are coming back. [Slaps his eyes again]
[Holds sunglasses up to camera so we see his face through them] New invention to avoid tan lines. The sun glass.
And so ends an era of people telling each other they can't tell them anything, they have to figure it out themselves.
[Craig and a clone sit side by side.]
[Clone:] What's going on? Why am I here?
[Craig:] I can't tell you that, Jack.
[Clone:] I'm not Jack. Don't call me Jack. Who's Jack?
[Craig:] You have to find that out for yourself, Jack.
[Clone:] Stop calling me that! I'm Craig! I'm a clone of you. And apparently you're using me for some sort of Lost example.
[Craig:] Uh, you're right. Okay, we're done here. Get in the alligator pit.
[Clone:] What? Alligator pit? Why would I do that?
[Craig:] I can't tell you why you have...
[Clone:] Fine! I'm going! I'd rather be eaten alive by alligators than listen to this crap. [Gets up and walks towards kitchen.]
[Craig:] Awesome.
[Whooshing and thump noise is heard as another title comes up. Title reads: Awesome] Seriously, stop it!
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)] [Whooshing sound and thump noise] [Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Currently listening to all of your new outro songs at the same time. Not at the same time. But I will be deciding on one of them this week.
Wanna see a trailer for the third episode of a webshow I'm in called Platoon of Power Squadron that Jake is making? No, not the Jake you know. The Jake I know. Link in the doobly-doo.
Now if you'll excuse me, from now until next time I see you, [rubs face with a towel] I will be wiping my brow. I'm a sweaty man.
And so ends an era of people ... Oh, time... [smiles] Time lines. Time lines are coming back. That's such a Lost thing to say.

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, Craig with a Wig, clone, alligator pit, wink, Platoon of Power Squadron, doobly-doo, outtakes

External links

Thumpnail on YouTube