There is no Hat

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"There is no Hat"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 236
Original Upload date January 20, 2010
Running time 0:02:33
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by pieman424242
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Sick Sick Sick"
Next →
"Broken Bad"



[slides in/singing rug] [Craig is wearing a hat.]
Oh my god, Wheezy Waiter's wearing a hat. What the *ding* is that about?
I'm not wearing a hat. You control your own reality. Just say to yourself
[extreme closeup of his mouth:] There is no hat.
[Craig's not wearing a hat.] See?
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Now I'm cold.
[extreme closeup of Craig's mouth:] There is a hat.
[He's wearing a hat.]
Ahh. Cozy. Thank you for saying there is a hat. I appreciate that.
[extreme closeup of Craig's mouth:] There is a punch.
A what now?
[A clone, without a hat, punches Craig.]
[Craig:] Ow! I don't appreciate that one as much.
[Clone:] That's a nice hat.
If you watched yesterday's video, or you're watching today's video with the sound on, which I highly recommend by the way, it makes videos a lot better, but you probably can't hear me say that then if the sound is off... [dramatically mouthes and whispers:] Turn your sound on. [stops mouthing and whispering] Well, then you can tell that I'm sick.
Yesterday I asked for some suggestions on how to get well.
Hippie redstarking writes [shows comment and says it like a stoner] "Well they say the best cure for any sickness is, like, happiness, man. Well, good luck with that."
Good luck with that? You think I'm unhappy?! Well, check it out. Let's see if your idea works. [Gets close to camera and tries, very slowly, to smile. It looks very painful. He starts coughing a bunch.] I can't... can't do it.
amemofromparis writes [shows comment] "OJ is also infinifty in times of sickness."
The murderer?
[continues reading comment] "The drink, not the murderer."
Oh good. That makes more sense. Thanks for responding to my commentary of your comment within the same comment. Glad I didn't have to have OJ Simpson around. Didn't really like the third Naked Gun movie and he probably would've brought it up and it would've been awkward. And then it would have been stabby. [mimes stabbing]
A friend of mine recently discovered the deliciousness of mixing OJ with ginger ale. That friend of mine is me with a wig.
[Craig with a Wig:] *Ding*in' orange juice [pours orange juice into a cup], *ding*in' ginger ale [pours ginger ale into the cup]. I hate life.
[theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [toy piano key] [Craig with a Wig smiles. Takes a sip of the drink.] Yeah, that's pretty good. [sees camera] I mean, *shirt*.
So yesterday I passed 30,000 subscribers and around here we celebrate with slap bracelets. Woo-ow! [slaps slap bracelet] Thank you. I love every single one of you. Even those who aren't watching. Even the jerks. [turns to alternate camera angle:] You know who you are. Jerks. [pounds toy keyboard] [turns back:] Also yesterday I put up this video on my alternate channel. [Video of Craig sneezing] Someone by the name of nokamusic made a funny remix to that video. Link in the doobly-doo. I'll tell you what else is in that there doobly-doo. A link to the original video. You can download it and make a remix of your own. Then make it a video response. [tries smiling again. starts coughing] I can't. I can't smile.
[extreme closeup of Craig's mouth:] There is a wink.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig drinks NyQuil from the bottle.] Mmm. Oh sweet syrup, take me to sleepy town. [looks at camera]

Recurring elements

singing rug, *ding*, clone, comments, Craig with a Wig, *shirt*, slap bracelet, alternate camera angle, doobly-doo, wink

Related videos

The video of Craig's sneeze on his second channel is called Viral Video.

External links

There is no Hat on YouTube