There's a Death at the End of This Video
|"There's a Death at the End of This Video"|
|Original Upload date||May 12, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||shiny David Hasselhoff|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. This is the intro thingy. It usually ends with something funny or shocking. You laugh, and then the intro plays. Not today. We're just going right to the intro. In 3... 2... EXPLOSION!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Yeah, I just fired missiles at you. That was a little rude. But that's what happens on WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY [flies up into the sky] EXPLOSION... [Craig lands in his chair]
[Clone comes from the kitchen:] What's going on?
[Craig:] Wednesday. [The clone explodes]
Oh, I better clean that up before my parole officer gets here. [sighs] I'm not on parole. I just hire a parole officer. Makes me seem more badass. Why do I always explain that? It kinda defeats the purpose.
CallMehJesus writes [shows comment] How come that green cup behind you is there sometimes and sometimes it's not? And then he made a face like this [mimics the emoticon :| ] but the lips are a little over.
I believe you're referring to that cup. [points to yellow cup on his nightstand] I know. I hate it too when cups move around. It's as if someone's picking them up and drinking fluids out of them and then putting them somewhere else.
You know what? Let's end this madness. [throws an exploding pen at the cup and the nightstand explodes] Oops. Nightstand is gone too. My social security card, birth certificate, and life savings was in there. Hmm. Guess I'll worry about that when it's a problem.
But hey! Freed up outlet! I can toast my waffles right next to my bed! [puts toaster on the floor next to his bed. Plugs it in.] And make coffee. [Now bringing coffee maker over] I love it when the coffee's done right next to me while I sleep. Never have to leave my bed. [pouring himself coffee while sitting up in bed] Oh, except for that one thing. Ah, diapers.
[Slumped further down in his bed, singing to the tune of Michael Row Your Boat Ashore:] Michael slept in bed all day, halle.... [falls asleep and snores]
[Still lying in bed.] [The waffles pop up in the toaster.] Oh! The waffles are done! Keep my dishes and my syrup right here. [Throws blankets back a little to reveal plate and syrup under the covers] Alright. [Reaches over to grab the waffles. It's a long reach. He accidentally knocks the toaster into the whale tank. Sizzling sound and whale sounds.] No! Why did I put it on an extension cord? [Lying in a different position in his bed, looking into the whale tank. The sizzling sound has stopped.] Right into my whale aquarium! Whale, are you okay? [whale sounds] Oh good. Michael Phelps? [Michael Phelps stoner laugh] Still stoned as ever. David Hasselhoff. David? Hey look! There's a burger and some alcohol! Nothing? [looks at camera] I killed David Hasselhoff.
[A picture of shiny David Hasselhoff appears on screen with titles beneath that read: In Loving Memory of David Hasselhoff. We know you're shining in heaven. Shine on Dave... Shine on... ]
[Craig plays guitar and sings the Baywatch theme song over the titles that appear:] Some people stand in the darkness, Afraid to step into the light. Some people need to help somebody, Whenever [mumbles] rabladdyblight.
[As the picture of shiny David remains on screen, wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig plays guitar and sings:] Some people stand in the darkness, Afraid to step into the light, Some people need to help somebody, Whenever [mumbles] rabladdyblight. Don't you worry, It's gonna be alright, Cause I'm ready, I won't let you out of my sight. [song over] Baywatch.
singing rug, beardlovers, Explosion Wednesday, clone, comments, emoticon expression, exploding pens, "I love it when the coffee's done!", whale tank, Michael Phelps, shiny David Hasselhoff, song, wink, outtakes
There's a Death at the End of This Video on YouTube