|"the duchess and the dirtwater fox"|
|Original Upload date
June 8, 2007|
|Wink submitted by
The sunlight is shining through the window and bouncing off of my monitor casting a nice glow on my face. In the movie magic industry, we call that a "bounce." Don't I look important? Aaaaaaaaaa.
June 8th... June 8th 2007. Fourth movie in four days.
So. Today we're going to talk about something really important like ... what? ["Breaking News" flashes on the screen] What's this? [Paris Back In Prison] Uh oh. [Paris Back in Lesbo Prison]. Remember ... you heard it here first thanks to my team of reporters also known as the Waiterazzi.
That's right. Paris Hilton is back in jail. Here's how it went down.
Paris Hilton, how do you plead?
Apparently Pauly Shore was in attendance.
And you will spend 45 days in jail for crimes against sobriety.
Bitch you guilty!
Hmmm that is hot.
Suddenly out from the shadows a renegade sheriff comes to the rescue. He says, You're not enjoying being in jail? Shit. We better bring you home.
To which Paris, with a wickedly sharp tongue of a lizard, knowingly replies, That's hot?
[Sound of a motor] They bring her home.
Where'd she go?
So the judge brings her back to the courtroom and says, Girl, get your ass back in jail.
Feeling a bit downtrodden by this awful twist of events, Paris replies, I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth, foregone all custom of exercises, and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory ... promontory?. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this bright o'er hanging firmament, this majestical roof threaded with golden fire - why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.
Then she solemnly hung her head and walked out of the courtroom to a standing ovation.
I don't give a shit about Paris Hilton and I hate news about Paris Hilton. Sorry to waste your time.
the duchess and the dirtwater fox on YouTube