The Perfect Siblings

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"The Perfect Siblings"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 215
2009
Original Upload date November 28, 2009
Running time 0:02:32
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by venomisinmyblood
aslanenlisted
lorenzocinema
Great People
Guests: Craig's sister Melissa
Episode chronology
← Previous
"L.A. Bound"
Next →
"Butter Udder"

Video

Transcript

[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Craig in the car, in the passenger seat]
Hey beardlovers.
We're in the mountains in California right now. Right, Missy?
[Melissa:] Right, Craig.
[Craig yells:] STOP BLOWING UP AT ME! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT?
Sorry. We've been on the road for a while.
[Craig:] Let's never fight again, Missy.
[Melissa:] Okay.
[Craig:] GRRR! Sorry.
So I checked out the view in my hotel this morning. [Craig opens the curtains and gasps.] [shot of parking lot] Oh my god! Look at all that available parking! It's beautiful.
Since I'm giving away my Fiesta in a few days, we've been reminiscing about the past six months.
[Craig stands next to the Fiesta in a parking lot and talks to it.]
Remember the time when we went to see Zombieland and you got really scared and you grabbed my arm? Oh wait... no... you're not allowed in movie theatres. You're a car.
Oh, remember when you won that VMA and then, um, Kanye West jumped on stage and said he was gonna let you finish but that Beyonce... wait, no... that was Taylor Swift.
Oh, remember when you died? Michael Jackson.
Oh, remember that time when we went to that Chinese buffet and you loved that fried rice so much so you dumped a bunch of it down your pants to smuggle it out and then you also dumped a big dollop of hot sauce and it got on your [whistles] and it burned your skin? That was me.
What did we do? [Craig walks away]
[back in the Fiesta]
There's strobe going on here. [moves his hands in the light reflecting into the car] Woo hoo. It's like a rave. Mountain rave. And me without my glowsticks, ecstasy and pacifier! Damnit! And I usually take those wherever I go.
[Craig turns to Melissa:] Missy, WHY DO YOU DRIVE SO LOUDLY?! UGHHH! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER MY SISTER!
[Melissa:] Fine!
[Craig:] Whoa! Someone's cranky. [Craig meows and makes a clawing gesture.] [Mouthes, while pointing to Melissa:] It's her. It's her.
Alright, onward to L.A.! You can vote for me again as your favorite Ford Fiesta agent if you'd like. Vote for Craig B. Link's in the doobly-doo. Oh wait... is that an Arby's? Missy, can we stop at an Arby's?
[Melissa:] Okay.
[Craig:] OHHHH GOD!!!! [to camera] You see that? You see what I have to deal with? [to Melissa:] I think its... it's the tone of your voice or something. I don't know. Just change... Can you change the way you speak, please?!! [sighs]
[Winker:] How you doin'? [winks (ding)]
[Another winker winks (boing)]
[Another winker winks {chime)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig:] I'm just kidding, Missy. You're my sister and I love you.
[Melissa:] I know, Craig.
[Craig:] You know?
[Melissa:] I know.
[Craig:] What... what... we've been on the road for a couple days and I'm that predictable?
[Melissa:] I've known you all your life.
[Craig:] Oh. So you think you know me. [The camera starts to fall. Craig grabs it.] You don't know me! Okay, maybe you do. You know me.
[Melissa:] Are you videotaping?

Recurring elements

beardlovers, Ford Fiesta Movement, doobly-doo, wink

External links

The Perfect Siblings on YouTube