The Month is Over!
|"The Month is Over!"|
|Original Upload date||January 29, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Mike Benedetto|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Let me tell you something clever I thought of to say before the title screen. [starts crying] I can't do it.
[turns to alternate camera angle and cries. looks up to yet another camera angle and cries, bangs toy keyboard. turns and looks towards the camera that's in the kitchen. cries. gets on floor. does a side roll. rotates on the floor in a circle, still crying, gets up and gets back in his chair in front of the camera, puts his forefinger to his head, still crying.] Avatar...
[Craig's clone, in the street, is crying. Stands up and walks one or two steps. Sound of bone breaking. He collapses and cries in the street. Sound of baby crying.]
[Craig, still crying, rolls his chair back to the middle of his room, and slumps in his chair, looking down.]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slumped in chair in middle of room, speaks in a monotone]
Hey beardlovers. Just finished a video every weekday in January. Except for today. Today's the last day. As you can tell, spirits are high. [long pause]
[rotates chair to talk to camera in kitchen] I did videos for one whole month. That's a Wheezy Dozen. Wheezy Dozen is a form of measurement I created for this special occasion. Wheezy Dozen equals one. You've heard of a baker's dozen equaling 13? Well, a baker's dozen is one Wheezy Dozen more than a dozen. It's a form of measurement. Ha!
[rotates chair to talk to main camera angle:] Oh. The coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done. [gets up, knocks chair over, knocks some stuff over on his end table, knocks stuff over in the kitchen, picks something up and throws it down on the floor, kicks it, knocks more stuff off his end table as he comes out of the kitchen with his coffee, picks up his shoe and kicks it, sits down in the chair again even though it's now lying on the floor. Sips coffee.] It's good coffee. [Gets up, put coffee mug down on the end table, throws himself onto the bed, gets up, violently throws himself down again. Gets up and turns to camera]
I had a goal to make 100,000 subscribers by the end of the month and then I'd make a video every weekday for the rest of the year. I didn't get it. I let you down. [text on screen: technically there's two days left but let's be realistic] You can't torture me any more than I'm already torturing myself. I suppose water boarding would be worse. Yeah, that would be bad. Being burned alive in a fire pit. That's even worse. Alright. I'll get the lighter fluid. Let's do this thing. [turns and walks towards kitchen. turns back.] I'm gonna say my goodbyes first.
[walks up to main camera angle:] Goodbye. [turns and walks towards kitchen]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Hey wait... [comes out of kitchen, back to main camera angle. Sits but falls on floor because his chair is still knocked over near the kitchen.] No chair. [Gets his chair, drags it to camera] I ran into Craig with a Wig in the kitchen. He enlightened me.
[Craig with a Wig:] Oh, where are you goin'?
[Craig:] Hmm? Didn't make my goal. Quit.
[Craig with a Wig:] You're such a dumb *ding*.
Then it hit me. I've had a more engaged audience than ever this month. You guys are great. I'm gonna continue doing videos every weekday for as long as I can. [smiles]
[Craig with a Wig:] You misinterpreted my astute observation. All I meant was simply, you suck.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig [toy piano key] [Craig with a Wig smiles]
Hmm, whatever. Oh *shirt* it's Free Bagel Friday.
[Craig's boss walks up to the bagel area. Craig walks up.]
[Craig:] Gimme that bagel!
[Craig's boss:] No bagel today. Cake. [holds up a plate with a piece of cake on it]
[Craig's boss:] Guess there's no punching. Hahahahaha!
[Craig:] That's okay, I like cake too.
[Craig's boss:] Whaaa?
[Craig punches his boss, who spins, wobbles a little bit and then falls. Craig takes plate with a piece of cake on it. He pokes a hole into the piece of cake and looks through the hole.]
[Craig:] That'll do.
[Craig's boss, lying on the floor, twitches. (ding) (ding) (ding)]
[Craig's boss:] That wasn't a wink. That was a twitch. Of pain.
[Craig:] Too bad it dinged.
[Craig's boss:] Ugh.
Wheezy Dozen = a form of measurement that equals one
The Month is Over! on YouTube