The Long Goodbye

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"The Long Goodbye"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 150
2009
Original Upload date April 15, 2009
Running time 0:03:19
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro website/youtube outro
Wink submitted by friendswobenefits
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Midweaster"
Next →
"Youtube Gets Paid"

Video

Transcript

[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers.
Now I don't know if this is true for you but sometimes I overhear a conversation or I'm a part of a conversation where one party is obviously done talking and the other party just doesn't get it.
[Craig in a hat, on the phone:] Hahaha. [sighs]
[Craig, on phone, simultaneously:] Hahaha. [sighs]
[Craig:] Yeah. Well. I suppose...
[Craig in a hat:] So then dessert rolled around and the weirdest thing happened. She just started sneezing.
[Craig:] Uh huh.
[Craig in a hat:] She just wouldn't stop sneezing.
[Craig:] You don't say.
[Craig in a hat:] Atchoo! Atchoo!
[Craig:] Super.
[Craig in a hat:] Like, it just kept going, and I was like, what, do you have a cold?
[Craig:] Kinda busy today.
[Craig in a hat:] She's like, no, this has never happened before. This is strange. I rarely ever even sneeze.
[Craig:] Well, that's interesting.
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah. It was something.
[Craig:] I think my tea is boiling.
[Craig in a hat:] And everyone just kept looking at us, like...
[Craig:] Oh yeah?
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah, you could definitely feel the eyes on us. It was very awkward.
[Craig:] Was that... is someone breaking into my house?
[Craig in a hat:] But they just kept looking. It was, like, oh my god.
[Craig:] Wow.
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah. What I'm saying is very interesting.
[Craig looks at his wrist:] Looking at the watch. You can't see it because we're on the phone.
[Craig in a hat:] Then she did something really weird.
[Craig:] You don't say.
[Craig in a hat:] She started taking her shirt off.
[Craig, suddenly interested:] Continue.
But then there's another situation I find myself in a lot. Where both parties want out of the conversation but they just can't make it happen.
[Craig in a hat:] And then she said, But that's not my applesauce. Hahaha.
[Craig:] Hahaha. Oh that's funny.
[Craig in a hat:] Hey listen, I gotta... I gotta get going.
[Craig:] Yeah, I should probably get going too.
[Craig in a hat:] But I really enjoyed talking to you.
[Craig:] Yeah, I like talking to you too.
[Craig in a hat:] Uh, when we can talk again, though?
[Craig:] Yeah, so next Wednesday, I think.
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah okay so...
[Craig:] Next Wednesday we'll chat.
[Craig in a hat:] Okay so it'll be next Wednesday.
[Craig:] Yeah so it'll be next Wednesday. I'll call you or you'll call me, whatever, doesn't matter.
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah I'll talk to you soon then.
[Craig:] I suppose.
[Craig in a hat:] We'll be... we'll be talking.
[Craig:] Okay I'll talk to you soon.
[Craig in a hat:] We'll be in... we'll be in touch.
[Craig:] Bye bye now.
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah.
[Craig:] Concluding the conversation.
[Craig in a hat:] I will be talking to you again.
[Craig:] Later.
[Craig in a hat:] Ciao.
[Craig:] Au revoir.
[Craig in a hat:] Arrivederci.
[Craig:] Adioski. That's combination Spanish Polish I got going there.
[Craig in a hat:] Conversation complete.
[Craig:] Talk to you soon. [starts to pull phone away from ear to hang up]
[Craig in a hat:] Yeah I'll talk to you soon.
[Craig, putting phone back to his ear:] What... what'd you say?
[Craig in a hat:] I said I'll talk to you soon.
[Craig:] Well, I'll talk to you later.
[Craig in a hat:] So so... goodbye now.... yeah. Yeah I'll talk to you later. Bye.
[Craig:] Talk to you soon.
[Craig in a hat:] Bye.
[Craig:] Goodbye.
[Craig in a hat:] Bye now.
[Craig:] Hello? Just kidding. Goodbye.
[Craig in a hat:] Just to be clear, next Wednesday.
But I don't have a problem ending a Wheezy Waiter video. We do that with a wink.
[Winker:] So you want me to wink?
[Craig:] Yeah, that's the idea.
[Winker:] Okay, I've never done this before. Um [opens and shuts his mouth]
[Craig:] Oh geez.
[Winker:] No no that's not it. [opens and closes one nostril with his finger] NO!
[Craig:] Oookay.
[Winker flips the top of his ear forward and back. Looks confused] I got it! I got it! I got it! Okay, okay, okay... [winks (ding)]
[Craig:] There you go.
[Winker:] No, that's not it either.
[Craig:] No that was right.
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[Craig in a hat:] We've reached our ending. Finished.
[Craig:] Bon voyage. I don't know if you're going on a voyage but I just thought I'd say that.
[Craig in a hat:] Coming in for a landing. [whispers incredulously:] What?

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, wink

External links

The Long Goodbye on YouTube