[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I live in America, and, as you know, America is a free society. And in af free society, you have variety. And variety leads to options. And options can lead to stress. For instance, my very stressful decision on which pants to wear this morning. These [holds up a pair of jeans], these [holds up another pair of jeans], or these [lifts up his leg to show another pair of jeans]. It's so hard to be an American.
Also, if someone angers me in America, I have the option to stab them with my hair. [turns his head to reveal a big tuft of hair in the back]
Not sure if you're allowed to hair stab someone. It's kind of a legal grey area. Especially if you're stabbed by Anderson Cooper. [picture of him. Closeup of his grey hair] Ohhhhhhhh!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[continuing, from before the intro:] Ohhhhh! [takes a breath. Breathes in deeply.] Whew.
Other people are making choices in America today too. Like the Florida pastor who's deciding to go ahead with burning the Quran. [shows article] despite warnings from General Petraeus that it will put troops in danger.
Koran [pronounced Ko-ron]? Koran [pronounced [Ko-ran]? I wish it was as easy to pronounce as the Bibble.
[Reads from article] While the congregation plans to go through with the action to protest the September 11th 2001 attack on the United States by al Qaeda, the church is "weighing" its intentions.
Go ahead and burn the books. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.
[Reads from article] "Our message is not a message of hate. Our message is a message of warning to the radical element of Islam."
I too sometimes like to protest one incident involving a small group of people in a way that will offend a billion.
One time, I ordered shrimp fried rice and it was kinda bland, so I filled in the dots on a yin-yang symbol. Take that, China.
[Reads from article] "In America, there is a freedom to be ignorant," said Plemon el-Amin, the imam of an Atlanta, Georgia mosque.
That's true, and I respect that freedom. Which is why RyanTheBigKid has a very valid comment from my last video. [shows comment] Hey, could you make a video to say to teacher to stop teaching and to schools to stop working!
Way to exercise your free speech, kid.
Not sure if that kid's from America, but there are other free societies as well. I think I heard of someone making a choice on the island of Madrid or something once.
I know. School can be tough sometimes, kid. You gotta get up early. You gotta stay there all day. It can be boring. Filled with jerks. And worst of all, it can make you think. And then if you think too much, you might discover something you're good at, and then you go off to college and then on to a successful career where you're forced to think about that thing for the rest of your life making lots of money. And being rich and successful sucks! Just ask college graduate Craig with a Wig.
[Craig with a Wig sighs:] I hate getting paid a lot of money to do a really easy job that I'm good at.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [Craig with a Wig turns and smiles] [toy piano key]
Due to his carpentry degree, he got a job as a kitchen table tester. He hates it.
Not that going to college guarantees success and money. Which is good, because being someone who hates money and success like yourself, you might accidentally go there since teachers are not gonna stop teaching and schools are not gonna stop working. Not that all of them work well. Why is everything not black and white [picture of yin-yang symbol] and in such a grey area? [picture of Anderson Cooper] Ohhhhhhhhh! [The picture of Anderson Cooper winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Ohhhhhhhh! [coughs a little as he catches his breath] Maybe I should wear the blue ones. [Holds up a pair of jeans] Oh, maybe the blue ones. [Holds up another pair. Smells them.] Whoa! Guess I ruled those out. [Smells the first ones he held up] Whoa! I guess not. [Holds up the other pair and again and looks from one to the other]
singing rug, beardlovers, headlines, comments, Craig with a Wig, wink
The Grey Area on YouTube