[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. It's time for another Wheezy Waiter video. Oh joy! Oh rapture! Rapture? Oh not to worry. That doesn't happen until May 21st 2011. Tomorrow. Tomorrow?!! That's in, like, two weeks. No. The day after today! There's still so much I want to do! [winks (ding)] [glinting smile that dings] [raises his eyebrows which makes a boing sound] [banjo face] [jumps into the air and punches the eagle, who's flying overhead] [sits back down] Okay, we're good.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
According to talk radio personality and teen heartthrob Harold Camping, [shows Wikipedia article] the Christian Rapture will take place on May 21st 2011 and the end of the world will take place five months later on October 21st 2011.
Libra represent! Or, you know, represent an equal amount as everyone else because Libras are the scales. We're all about fairness and balance and harmony and stuff. By the way, wanna get me something for my birthday on October 5th assuming we're both horrible sinners and still around after the Rapture? It can be something frivolous and fleeting because we're gonna die in two weeks.
Well, a lot of people think that Libras are about harmony and fairness and balance and why is that? Because people say it. Maybe it's based on some truth. Maybe not. But we think it because it's said. Just like Harold Camping says the world's gonna end tomorrow. [Text on screen: Rapture (end of world is Oct. 21)] It might not be true, but it's on everyone's mind. Just like you're thinking about what's going on behind you right now as you watch this video because I'm talking about what's going on behind you right now. What's behind you? Is someone looking at you?
You may not care what's behind you but you're thinking about it because I'm talking about it. Words have power. For all you know, I don't actually have an alligator pit behind that wall behind me, I just say I do. But let's be serious. I really do. Prove it, clone!
[Clone emerges behind him:] Hooray for examples! [jumps into the alligator pit] Aaaaaaaa! [Sounds of clone crying out as he's being munched on by alligator] Oh... Oh god... Oh... Oh god!
Hear that? That's the sound of truth.
So Harold Camping took a perfectly normal day, said something significant about it, and now we're all looking at it differently. Why does he get to do that? Because he's on the radio box. And he's developed a large following of people that actually listen to him. Some people are so lucky. I wish i could say ridiculous things to a large group of... Whoaaaa! [points at camera] Spin point! [Spins in his chair while pointing at camera]
If you listen to the ear of a dog, you hear a feedback loop.
Macaroni's made from wizard wands and children's dreams.
The gasoline-powered car is a myth. Think about it. You've never run out of gas. No you haven't. No you have not. Shut up! I am not stubborn. Now we're just arguing about arguing.
What goes up must come down ... until next Thursday! [Craig whips off his glasses, camera zooms in, dramatic music]
So what's happening next Thursday? Oh yeah. That's right. The world's gonna end.
I've been conducting my own research for the past blahdy-blah years and I have very good reason to believe that next Thursday is the day the world ends. Harold Camping is wrong.
So it's out there now. May 26th. You better hope you're one of the chosen few. Don't worry. I'm a Libra so it's fair. No one's chosen.
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
You know, the end of the world isn't that big a deal. Some have estimated that there have been about a 110 billion people that have ever lived on planet earth. And there's 7 billion now. So that's like 15 apocalypseees, apocalypses, apocalypti, apocalypto? [poster of move Apocalypto] No. Wonder what Craig with a Wig thinks about the end of the world.
[Craig with a Wig snorts very softly:] Is that the first time I've ever laughed?
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig! [Craig with a Wig turns and smiles] [toy piano key]
[Craig with a Wig:] Long time no see. I hate reunions.
[Arrow points to coffee pot on the counter. Text by arrow: Coffee all gone :( ]
singing rug, beardlovers, wink, dinging glinting smile, boinging eyebrows, banjo face, eagle, Wikipedia, alligator pit, clone, wink, Craig with a Wig
The End of the World on YouTube