The Drinky British

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"The Drinky British"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 244
Original Upload date February 1, 2010
Running time 0:03:25
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by cowtipper11
Great People
Guests: Steve Sleeve
Zaid Maxwell
Ryan Wolff
Sam Grant
Matt Weber
other party guests
Episode chronology
← Previous
"The Month is Over!"
Next →



[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. It just turned February. You know what that means.
[turns to alternate camera angle] February is derived from the Latin term Februm, which means purification. The purification ritual Februa was held on February 15th in the old Roman calendar. [turns back to main camera]
Yep. That's what it means. You know it.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
You'll have to forgive me this morning. I'm a bit... [makes sign for tipping bottle]
[Craig in closeup whispers:] hungover...
due to... [makes sign for turning up music and then dances]
[Craig in closeup whispers:] having a party
in my [mimes something]
[Craig in closeup:] Fencing class?
[Craig in closeup:] Stabbing room?
[Craig in closeup:] Gouging den?
What's a gouging den?
[Craig in closeup:] I don't know. What's a stabbing room?
I don't know that either.
[Craig in closeup shakes his head]
[Craig in medium shot shakes his head.]
[Craig in closeup:] So....
It's a kitchen. I'm flipping an egg on a pan. [Mimes flipping an egg on a pan]
[Craig in closeup:] That's a terrible symbol for the kitchen.
Well, what would you have done?
[Craig in closeup:] I woulda said kitchen.
Pfft. That's a dumb... Wait a second! That just might work! Thanks a lot Mister [puts his hand up by his mouth like closeup Craig has for whispering]
[Craig in closeup:] Hmm? Sun visor?
Yeah. I wear my sun visor down here on the bottom of my face to block the sun when I'm hanging upside down.
[Craig in closeup:] Probably shouldn't hang upside down a lot. The blood'll rush to your head. You'll pass out.
I was referring to you.
[Craig in closeup:] Oh yeah! Hand on face guy. That's me.
We were celebrating the end of my month of videos. Boy, was that quite a party. Glad it's over.
Speaking of the drinky, I was listening to NPR because I'm a snooty hipster jerkwad, and apparently the British are a bunch of drunks. I guess drinking there has become a problem, and the government's trying to put an end to certain practices such as the dentist chair where you sit in a chair and they force alcohol down your mouth.
Or they do this thing called a CAT scan where they lay you down on a platform and they slide you into this tube and then they employ this thing called tomography where they take an image of your brain, and then... and then they drink.
Or there's this thing called baby dunking, where they take a newborn baby and they dunk it in grain alcohol for a minute. Gets it really wasted.
The British are messed up.
Glad I live in old sensible U.S. as they call it. Wait, I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done!
[gets up and goes to kitchen. When he enters the kitchen, there's a party going on. A bunch of people are standing around talking and drinking while music plays. Stv Slv, from The Hood Internet, is DJing the party.]
[Steve:] Yo! Wheezy Waiter in the building!
[The people at the party turn and see Craig and yell out:] Heeeey!!! Woo! [Steve hits a button on his setup.]
[Craig, confused, walks into the kitchen and up to Steve.]
[Craig:] Can I just get a coffee?
[Steve:] Oh, coffee. They said you were going to want that. Here you go. [hands him a mug of coffee]
[Sam:] This party is better than the party I was at last night. [drinks beer]
[Woman, offscreen:] Where were you last night?
[Sam:] I have no idea.
[Ryan:] I'm having a good time.
[Woman:] Where am I?
[Guy:] I hate this party.
[Amelia:] Last night was way better than this party.
[Man's voice, offscreen:] Last night was awesome.
[Steve:] Yo, can I get some drink tickets?
[Craig looks utterly confused. He turns and leaves the kitchen. Closes the door.]
Hmm. Yeah. [sips coffee] The British are drunks.
[Image of the Earth. A wink dings as there is a flash of light. Camera zooms in through space, through sky, clouds, neighborhood, a rooftop and the winker on his laptop looks up at the camera:] Oh hi. [Winks (ding) and looks back down at his laptop]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
February is derived from the Latin term februm which means.... February is derived from the term... February is derived from the term februm, which means purification, a preokirif.... February 15th... February 15th is derived from the Latin term februm which means purification. The purification ritual Feb...

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, alternate camera angle, "I love it when the coffee's done!", kitchen party, wink, outtakes


This is the first installment of the kitchen party.

External links

The Drinky British on YouTube