[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Craig's head is upside down again so the top of his head appears at the bottom of the frame and his mouth isn't visible]
[Craig:] Hey Toddly.
[Todd:] Umm, hey Craig.
[Craig:] It appears that after tallying the votes from the commenters you won.
[Todd:] I believe you're right.
[Craig:] Isn't that kind of weird, though? Look at this awesome growth. [strokes the top of his head]
[Todd:] Umm, I think you have the image upside down. That is the top of your head.
[Craig, right side up again, with a long beard superimposed over his chin:] It just seems that some of the commenters might have been wrong. Look at this massive testosterone garden.
[Todd:] Uh, Craig, you just superimposed a beard over your face, and you already did that in a previous video.
[Craig with a picture of Charles Darwin with a big beard superimposed over him completely:] I'm just saying that maybe we need a revote.
[Todd:] And that's a picture of Charles Darwin. Are you even trying anymore?
[Craig:] Alright. You win. But I'm still beautiful. What do you win again?
[Todd:] I get to slap that beauty right off your... [burps]
[Todd:] I get to slap that beauty right off your face next time I see you.
[Craig:] Hmm. Guess I'll be staying away from California.
[Todd:] Uh, you can't run away from my slap forever. [laughs maniacally]
[Craig:] Okay, I'm gonna go.
[Todd:] Sure, yeah. See ya. Disappear. Loser.
[Craig's lips tremble as if he's holding back tears.]
Hey beardlovers. It appears that I didn't, uh, win the contest. Sorry to let those that voted for me down. And to those that voted for Todd, sorry to let you up.
I had my slap bracelet all ready to celebrate. [lip trembles again]
[begins fake crying as slap bracelet droops instead of slapping down on his outstretched arm. As he holds his slap bracelet, a white light appears beside him and music plays. A cloaked figure, barely visible in the white light, speaks.]
[Figure in the white light:] Hello Wheezy Waiter. It is I.
[Craig:] The mysterious Raaa-bertson who taught me the art of rapid beard growth in the hills of Malaysia?
[Raaa-bertson:] Yes it is. And you've forgotten that it's not about how fast you grow the beard.
[Craig:] It's not?
[Raaa-bertson:] Oh wait. Yes it is. [punches Craig]
[Raaa-bertson:] Talk to you later. [white light disappears]
I guess I get two slaps for losing the contest.
[Catrific:] Thanks for watching. [winks (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
beard-growing competition, beardlovers, slap bracelet, wink
The Conclusion! on YouTube