[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. What's wrong? What's going on? [looks around and then at the futon behind him] Oh! Plaid blanket. Plaid shirt. Okay, you're having a plaidsma-attack. You just need to calm down. [gesturing at screen] Does this work? Does this calm people? I don't... Uh... Okay we need to find something dull, lifeless, and boring where things go to die. Got it. My baldspot. [Turns and puts his baldspot up to camera] Okay, there you go. You just stick with me when things get too exciting, alright?
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So are you feeling alright now? One dose of baldbuteral should last you about a day. Alright. So today is May 19th. Happy birthday Ho Chi Minh. Another year older. Just kidding. Dead. Anyway, we got an exciting show planned for you today. Hehehehe. [Shoulders move a lot as he laughs] I say "we" pretending that I'm not alone. [stops laughing and morosely stares off into space for a moment]
So in the news today, Netflix.... [sniffs] I've just been stabbed in the nose with the delicious smell of coffee. I'm gonna go get some.
[The door opens behind him and another Craig (a clone or time traveler?) pops out:] Don't get the coffee!
[Clone/time traveler at door:] I'm you from the future and I'm dying. I tried to get the coffee.
[Another clone/time traveling Craig comes out from near the washer and dryer:] No! Get the coffee! He's Revenge Clone, trying to take enjoyment away from you.
[Clone/time traveler at door:] Don't listen to him. He's trying to trick you. He's Revenge Clone.
[Two clickable annotations appear on screen: Get Coffee and Don't Get Coffee]
[Craig turns back to camera] Well, this is confusing. What should I do? Should I go get the coffee or shouldn't I? Better decide. If you're on a mobile device, there's a link in the doobly-doo. You better decide. [sighs] All this indecision is making me sleepy. Ooh. I can't believe you haven't decided yet. I think I need some coffee. Or not coffee. You better decide in 3... 2... [snores]
[Title on screen with dun dun dun music: You took too long]
[Title on screen: Craig fell asleep and never got a chance to upload the video!]
[Title on screen: It has been wiped from your memory.]
[Title on screen: Unless you click Try Again, of course.]
[Sleeping Craig falls out of his chair]
[Clickable annotation below the titles: Try again]
singing rug, beardlovers, time travel, clone, Revenge clone, interactive video, doobly-doo
The Coffee Saga on YouTube