|Original Upload date||May 21, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||IAmSatansBoss|
|Camera work by||
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Agh, I'm hungry. So hungry. [pounds fist in his palm] That's it! I'm makin' eggs. [In the kitchen. Two eggs are frying in a frying pan.] Look at that. I'm actually doing it. I haven't even played the intro yet. I'm amazing!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Craig lifts a big bite of egg to his mouth. Makes gulping sound.] Eggs. [Craig lifts a big bite of egg to his mouth. Makes gulping sound.] Eggs. [With his mouth wide open, Craig lifts the toast to his mouth. That piece of toast is gone.] Toast. [He does it again.] Toast. [Then he does it with the fork.] Fork. [And the plate.] Plate. Yum yum.
What else should I do? Let's see. [Holds up a list of Things to do today and crosses off a couple of items] Eggs. Check. Other thing you didn't see. Check. Wear sunglasses... Oh yeah.
[Music starts and song begins as Craig slowly puts on sunglasses. We see him putting them on from main camera angle, the alternate camera angle, angles to his left and behind him as well.]
Sunglasses. [dramatic zoom]
I'm putting on my sunglasses.
[turns to alternate camera angle:] Man, just leave me alone.
[goes outside] I'm about to kick all y'alls asses. [Punches Matt, who's walking by, and goes down sidewalk]
And then I'm gonna go home. [Turns around and walks back towards his building]
And probably eat some more eggs. [Goes back inside his building]
[Walks into his apartment] I'm still hungry from when I ate 'em before.
[Takes eggs out of the fridge] They're a good source of protein
Now I'm walking on the sidewalk [walking on the sidewalk]
Camera carried by a friend [Camera tilts to show Matt and then back to Craig]
And I'm pushing my hands out
Directly at the lens
Because it makes me look badass. [Keeps pushing his hands out at the lens]
And now I'm standing by a tree.
[Matt:] Hey. Who are you?
Man, you don't know me.
I'm wearing... [points to his sunglasses]
[Walks down sidewalk, pushing his hands towards the lens] [song over]
[sits down again] So... [takes off glasses] That was a thing I did. What's next? Oh *shirt* it's Free Bagel Friday.
[Craig's boss walks up to bagel area. Craig walks up.]
[Craig:] Gimme that bagel!
[Craig's boss:] No! It's the last one.
[Craig punches his boss, who crumples to the floor. Craig goes to grab the bagel.]
[Craig's boss, lying on the floor:] Though I responded harshly to your query, your moral justification for physical assault is questionable at best. Also, ouch.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter outro graphic with line from song as music:] Sunglasses!
[takes eggs out of the fridge] They're a good source of protein. Got it. Nailed it!
[Extreme closeups of Craig taking a bite of toast, biting on the fork, biting on the plate]
[Craig, with headphones on, sings:] I'm standing by a tree... unglasses.
[Matt, standing close to camera:] Hey. Who are you?
Things to do today
- Other thing you didn't see
- Wear sunglasses
- Another thing
Suuuunglasses on YouTube