Strangers and Echos, Stranchos?
|"Strangers and Echos, Stranchos?"|
|Original Upload date||January 18, 2012|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||jakeisnotanowl|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Oh, I got something for you. [Starts to get something out of his pocket.] Here. Just let me... get that out of my pocket there... Let's see.... You're gonna like this. It's really... Yeah. [Unfolds a piece of paper with an image of an explosion on it.] EXPLOSION! Haha! It's fake. Duh. It's a fake explosion, guys. Come on. [It explodes. Craig reacts in fear.] Someone laced that with real explosion.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Well, you probably guessed it by now. It's WEDNESDAY... WEDNESDAY... EXPLOSION... WEDNESDAY. [He's holding up a picture of his head, superimposed almost perfectly over where his real head would be. It's on fire.] Ow! My head! It's on fire! Oh god! [Pulls photo aside.] Duh, guys. Come on. This time the explosion was real, but my head was fake. [Craig in the photo turns his head. Craig notices and drops the photo in fear.] Someone laced that with real Craig.
So anyway, every Wednesday I wanna try out this thing called Explosion Wednesday. We'll see if I make it a thing or not. I'm not sure yet.
In explosion news... [shows headline] Stranger saves woman in burning car.
Ah, see? Those are always the best kind of stories to talk about. Woman in a burning car and man saves her. Well, I guess woman's car never started on fire would be better, but when does that happen? I never read about that. Come to think of it, I also never read stories about people who aren't murdered or kidnapped or don't win the lottery. Are we all millionaire kidnapped murder victims riding around in burning cars? Oh my god, I won the lottery? Yes!
Anyway, kudos to that heroic stranger. I can't imagine working up the courage to save someone when you're walking around your whole life being a stranger.
[Text on screen: Reenactment]
[Craig sitting on the left side of frame and facing the right:] Hey man, do I know you?
[Craig sitting on the right side of frame and facing the left:] No, I'm a stranger. No one does.
[Craig sitting on the left:] Oh. [shields himself from the stranger]
This persecution of strangers has to stop. They're no different than you or me. They just don't know you or me. And we don't know them.
They can't all be bad. This one saved a woman from a burning car. Or wait... He saved her IN a burning car. What'd he save her from? A pack of wolves? A robbery? Personally, I would've made the burning car the priority. I guess I"ll never understand strangers.
Anyway, I'm not gonna confirm what actually happened 'cause I'd have to read the article to do that. Moving on...
[shows headline] European Planck probe finishes Big BANG's echo. [Craig holds up his finger as the explosion/bang echoes in his apartment.]
That's right. I can make my apartment echo when I want it to. I had it installed recently. I have a guy. You want his number? It's 555-4988... 8... 8... 8... 8. Haha! See what I did there? Seriously, he's dead.
The point is echoes are AWESOME! ... [the echo begins] AWESOME!.... AWESOME!... stupid... stupid.... stupid.
My echoes have been having an attitude lately.
[Craig's echoes:] No we haven't... No we haven't... No we haven't... No we haven't.
Yes you have.
This quote was originally yelled in a canyon canyon canyon canyon. [As he says this, the words appear onscreen beside him: This quote was originally yelled in a canyon canyon canyon canyon. -Craig Benzine]
Anyway, the echo that they're referring to in the article is the radiation remnants of the Big Bang. Planck was analyzing them to learn about.... agh! [Sighs and picks up the picture of the explosion from earlier.] Ah. Got me.
Planck was analyzing them to learn more about the origins of the Big Bang. Actually, I wanna learn more about what scientists already know about the Big Bang. Checkin' Wikipedia.
[Typing] Big Bang... [A largely black screen comes up on Wikipedia.] What? [Craig reads from the screen.] Right now the US Congress is considering legislation that would fatally damage a free and open internet. For 24 hours to raise awareness, we're blacking out Wikipedia. Blah blah blah blah. That's not about the Big Bang. This is too dark. Maybe it needs an EXPLOSION! [His monitor explodes.]
That was totally... I'm... I'm protesting too. So I'm blacking out my internet. So.... Info in the doobly-doo about this stuff.
[Wheezy Waiter outro]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding) wink (ding)]
[Noir Clone is now sitting on the couch behind Craig.]
[Craig:] My computer's gone AND Craig with a Wig. [turns to Noir Clone] Hey, do you have any leads on Craig with a Wig?
[Noir Clone:] I'm just waiting on one of my sources.
[Craig:] But you... you think you know where he is?
[Noir Clone:] Yeah, I think so.
[Craig:] Oh, yes! ... [His echoes begin:] Yes!... Yes!... Yes!... Craig with a Wig is you.... Craig with a Wig is you.... Craig with a Wig is you. [Craig looks confused.] What? Echo's being weird.
Craig asking about whether Noir Clone has any leads on Craig with a Wig is a reference to the previous few videos, starting with Someone is Missing.
Strangers and Echos, Stranchos? on YouTube