|Original Upload date||May 6, 2009|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||mrfreeman1995|
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Good morning beardlovers.
[On the left side of the screen, the right half of Craig's face is visible (like he's halfway out of frame). On the right side, the left half of his face is visible.]
[Craig and clone:] Half face.
[Both Craigs punch slap themselves.]
Sometimes I get stuck on the side of the frame. I hate that!
Okay, so just as a little warning, [holds his hand up to the side of his mouth, like you do sometimes when whispering a secret. he wiggles his fingers] there's gonna be no Free Bagel Friday again this week. In fact, it's gonna be on hiatus for a while.
[looking at his wiggling fingers] I don't know.
You know how jokes can get old? It's because they often play on our expectations and after a while our expectations change along with the joke. Some consistency is good, but it can be taken too far.
[Craig at the window as his hypothetical mother:] Personally, I think you hit the nail on the mother*ding*ing head with that one.
Take, for example, Mike My.... [money falls from above] Just a second. Gotta throw this into my savings in the sky. [throws money upward]
Hehehehe. It's funny every time.
Take for example Mike Myers.
[Craig and a clone sit side by side.]
[Clone:] Hey did you see that Mike Myers movie The Love Guru? It was really funny. Not.
[Craig laughs:] I really appreciate how you referenced an older Mike Myers movie Wayne's World by misplacing the word 'not' in the sentence to play off of my expectations of whether or not you actually liked the movie. Not.
[Clone laughs:] Hahaha. That was really funny. Not.
[Craig:] Dude, you took that too far. God, you suck. [slides out of frame]
And then there's the tired old joke that's been used on sitcoms since before I was born. It's gotten to the point of tragedy.
It's the joke where there's one character who's so insistent that he will not do something, which is followed immediately by a scene where he's doing just that.
[A clone's arm reaches into frame to offer Craig a mug of coffee.]
No, I don't want any coffee. No. No, I don't want coffee! I will not drink coffee! I vow to never drink coffee again! I will chew broken glass while being stabbed in the kidney before I will drink that coffee.
[cuts to Craig taking a sip of coffee] Mmm. This coffee's delicious. [Audience laughter. Craig points to the audience and waves, smiling widely. He takes a bow as the audience begins to applaud. He takes another sip of coffee, very pleased with himself, basking in the applause. He waves again and exits. The audience continues clapping. He re-enters and bows again, waves, and exits.]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro title only as applause plays instead of outro music]
Two more days to vote for the name of my Fiesta. Seems pretty obvious which name is going to win. If you disagree, you better vote. You have a pretty good chance of changing the outcome. Not. [Audience laughs. As Craig gives a thumbs-up sign, laughter turns to boos.]
This is the first use of audience laughter or a laugh track.
Situation Tragedy on YouTube