|Original Upload date||February 22, 2011|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Outro||video game outro|
|Wink submitted by||Sexy clone|
[slides in/singing rug]
[Wheezy stares at the camera. Begins to cry. Closer up. Water is pouring off his cheeks and chin. Closer up. Water is pouring off his eyes, cheeks, chin. Begins to audibly sob.] Justin Bieber cut his hair. [continues sobbing] How'd it get wet up here? [points at his forehead]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[sob] Over it. Hey, happy Celebrity Day.
That's right. It's Celebrity Day. A Scientology holiday.
Scientoliday? Holitology? Scientolo-oliday?
Celebrity Day celebrates the Church of Scientology's many celebrity centers. At first, I was like, What? [Title on screen: What?] But then I saw that they spelled 'centres' with the R before the E so then I was like Whta? [Title on screen: Whta?]
[Reading from Wikipedia:] Celebrity Cent-res are Church of Scientology facilities that are open to the public but mostly serve artists and celebrities. The Church often quotes L. Ron Hubbard as saying that "A culture is only as great as its dreams and its dreams are dreamed by artists." Allow me to paraphrase. 'My church needs money money money money, oh hey, Tom Cruise... that seat taken? Would you like to try some of my popcorn? How 'bout my belief system'?
[Title on screen: My church needs money money money money, oh hey, Tom Cruise... that seat taken? Would you like to try some of my popcorn? How 'bout my belief system? - L. Ron Hubbard]
His quote might be a little bit catchier but mine has a celebrity cameo. Now I owe Tom Cruise some residuals.
But anyway, I digress. Who needs a day set aside for them more than celebrities? Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm.
I love 'em! I'm always going to pop culture news to check up on what's going on with Will Smith [picture of Scarlett Johansson], Sean Penn [picture of Scarlett Johansson], the cast of Friends [four pictures of Scarlett Johansson], Ernest Borgnine [picture of Ernest Borgnine]. I even made a clone on this special day specifically bred to be a celebrity.
Sexy clone... is actually me. I'm the clone. Can you tell? Well, wait. [Pops collar] Now you can.
In the comments, lezalel writes [shows comment] how come there is no sexy clone? [Messes up his hair] You're welcome.
I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done. [Playfully bites at camera.] Catwalk to the coffee. [Gets up, starts strutting towards the coffee, stops, closeup of sexy clone raising his eyebrows, turns, laughs, sucks in his cheeks, making a pouty/kissy face, continues on towards the coffee, pulls out coffee pot, pours coffee while wiggling eyebrows, poses, struts back to the camera, sits down. Extreme closeup of sexy clone sipping the coffee, licking his lips, biting his lower lip, pops his collar again, turns to the camera, and winks] [wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
At first I was like, what? But then I saw that they celeb... celebrated? No, they spelled. They did not celebrate. Well, they did celebrate celebrities but they spelled centers with the R before the E and that's what I'm going to say NOW. At first I was like, what? But then I saw that they spelled... Ah, nope, I didn't say it.
[Sexy clone turns to the camera, raises an eyebrow. And again. And again, this time whipping his head towards camera. And again, sucking in his cheeks making a kissy face. And again and sexy clone messes up his hair before sucking in his cheeks.] Aaah, I actually hurt my neck. Modeling's hard.
[Sexy clone spins and faces camera, sucking in his cheeks, making a kissy/pouty face.]
This is the first appearance of Sexy clone.
Sexy Clone on YouTube