|Original Upload date||August 19, 2009|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Oh hey beardlovers. I'm Wheezy Waiter, also known as Craig Benzine. I hate you.
I'm sorry. I'm not myself today. You're awesome. No, that's not right.
No that's right.
Maybe I'm becoming myself.
I'm turning Craig Benzine
I think I'm turning Craig Benzine [Craig turns away from camera and back to camera]
I really think so. [Craig bends down, out of frame]
I'm turning Craig Benzine [Craig rises up from below the frame]
I think I'm turning Craig Benzine [Craig and a clone stand side by side. They both walk towards the split-screen seam and then through it, disappearing for a second and reemerging on the other side of the seam.]
I really think so.
[Craig and the clone:] Whoa!
What does that mean, I'm not myself today? That's the worst excuse ever.
Oh man, I'm sorry. I just punched you in the face. That's really weird. I'm not myself today.
Oh, sorry I wasn't at your birthday. Yeah, I wasn't myself that day. You didn't want me there. My skin turned green and then I grew warts all over my body and then I grew a second head that looked exactly like Cher.
Oh sorry I drove my truck into that government building and then lit my truck on fire. I wasn't myself today.
[Craig and a clone in a blonde wig sit side by side.]
[Craig:] I think we should call off the wedding.
[Clone gasps in surprise]
[Craig:] No, it's not you. It's just I don't think I'm being myself... from now on.
So the next time that you think you're not being yourself, just know that you are being yourself. You're just being dumb. Or you're being an *ding*hole.
Why am I being so mean today? I'm not being myself.
Alright, it's winking time.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)] [Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
My band is playing in the Twin Cities this weekend. For more info, link's in the doobly-doo.
[Craig turns from camera, covers face, uncovers face, turns back to camera]
Oh sorry I stabbed you.
Self 101 on YouTube