Secondhand illions

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"Secondhand illions"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 653
Original Upload date June 7, 2012
Running time 0:03:56
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by
Episode chronology
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Transcript (in progress)

Hey beardlovers. So I've been working on my moonwalk. Check it out.
Pretty good, right? Eat your heart out, Tito Jackson. Or... or... I forgot which one.
So in... oh, hang on a second. Hello? NASA? No, no. I wasn't on the moon. I was doing the moonwalk in my apartment. Very convincing, right? Yeah. I'm self-taught. Oh I've been meaning to ask you. You know a couple of weeks ago when that meteor was plummeting to Earth? Where were you guys?
Okay. Yeah... alright. I don't care about your space secrets. I gotta go, okay?
How did NASA know I was doing the moonwalk? Are they watching me?
You hear that music? That represents my feeling of lurking danger.
- No it's not. It's me playing guitar. See? Oh wait.
- No. It was ME playing guitar. Wait.
- Oh. It was actually me. I'm playing guitar. Sorry, didn't even realize.
- We should totally start a band.
- Yeah, totally!
- I'm busy.
So in today's video... Ooh, hang on a second. I'm hungry.
Okay. In today's video... Wait. Gotta have dessert.
Mmm. Cookie.
Mmm. Cookie. This cookie's broken.
Alright. I gotta do a video.
I don't have to a video but I like to do videos.
Well, I do have to do a video. It's my job.
But I like to.
But I have to.
But I lave to?
But I hike to?
But I hake to.
But I LIVE TO. That's the one.
So here's what we're talking about in today's video. At least the second half of the video since the video's been going on already for so long.
And now we're wasting even more time talking about how we're wasting time.
I found this news article. The internet now has 340 trillion trillion trillion addresses.
The internet has been running out of IP addresses, so the Internet Society... that's a real thing... has been working for years to launch a new Internet Protocol standard called IPv6.
The internet's address book grew from just 4.3 billion unique addresses to 340 undecillion.
When I saw that word, I had a reaction. Here's the reaction reenactment.
What's undecillion?
Turns out it's just a super huge number. And I realized we all probably don't know most of the super huge number names.
I think if we're gonna live in an internet age with all these IP addresses, we need to start learning big numbers. So I made a song about it.
I thought there should be a song to teach us all about the illions.
Like million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion.
But once we get that far people not be so famillion.
With numbers so big you can't even write them without your fingers turning vermillion.
Some day we may all travel through space like Mal played by Nathan Fillion,
And if that happens to be the case, someone should tell MacMillian
To publish math books with the numbers octillion, nonillion, decillion
To be read by Americans, French, or anyone including, uh, Sicilians.
I hope they don't see so skeptically like Scully played by Anderson Gillian,
Giant numbers are necessary like undecillion and duodecillion.
Quattuordecillion and quinquadecillion,
So stupidly huge it's vaudevillian.
But none of you are backtalk, don't bite my head off!
Or I'll accuse you of being crocodilian.
I've never told anyone this before but I've never had sexdecillion
Of anything really. That's just way too much. It wouldn't even fit in a pavilion.
Septendecillion, octodecillion, so big I need a Killian's.
But we may need these numbers some day to travel to Sector Corellian.
That's in Star Wars. I'm a dork.
Try to imagine novemdecillion or even vigintillion
They're not even as giant as centillion but I might rather get a Brazilian.
And googolplex is bigger yet, even more scales than reptilians.
And that's all of the numbers I'll say.
On second thought, I would never get a Brazilian wax. I don't even know why I entertained that possibility. Can men even get Brazilian waxes? They probably can these days.
- We totally could have sung backup on that song.
- Yeah, let's start a band!
- I'm busy.
- Oh crap! Whale tank cover's open!
Once again, a reminder. If you can, please donate to the Indiegogo campaign for Habitat for Humanity, linked in the doobly-doo. Maybe we can get to undecillion dollars. Maybe we can get to quintordecillion dollars. Maybe we can get to Nathan Fillion dollars.
If we got to the first two, I don't think we'd have a habitat problem ever again in the world. If we got to the third one, we might get sued by Nathan Fillion 'cause we stole his name.
Nathan, if you sue us, could you take your winnings and donate them to Habitat for Humanity? Thank you.

Recurring elements

[Coming soon]

External links

Secondhand illions on YouTube