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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 288
Original Upload date April 8, 2010
Running time 0:02:20
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by John Green and David Levithan
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Explosion Wednesday!"
Next →
"Comment Tiiiiiiiiiiiime"



[slides in/singing rug]
Listen up, beardlovers. I have about HAD IT! I currently have it. I'm talking with doctors, and they tell me that over a course of a few months I will eventually have had it. I'm gonna beat this thing.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
You're probably wondering what I have. Boogie fever.
[plays guitar and sings and dances]
Get down get down
Ree ree
Get down get down
Doodoodoo doodoodoo doo doo
Get down get down
Ree ree
Get down get down
Doodoodoo doodoodoo doo doo
[Two images of Craig onscreen playing the guitar in both]
[song over]
As you can see and hear, boogie fever is an awful condition. I need help.
[singing:] Get down get down
Today in the news I learned that the world got one-third safer. [shows article] After Obama and Russian president Medvedev traded scrapbooks. They signed the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty or START. Which cuts their number of nuclear arms by one-third.
Phew! I'm glad we're cutting our tens of thousands of nuclear weapons down to less tens of thousands. But as the name suggests, it is a start. [text on screen: START] This treaty will be followed by a second treaty Seriously, Eliminate Long-range Evil Combustion-makers Treaty. Or SELECT.
Following that will the Up Left Down Right treaty where they try to make sure no one around their countries has nuclear weapons.
And finally the All Banished treaty or A B.
Thus completing the Nintendo controller. [holds up a Nintendo controller]
Hey! [turns to alternate camera angle] You know what else is complete? The coffee! I love it when the coffee's done. Arms reduction! [pulls his arms out of their sleeves so they're trapped instead under his sweater. Gets up to go get coffee, but when he reaches the coffee pot, he sighs, unable to grab it with his hands.] Uh oh. [He bends down and bites onto the handle of the coffee maker.]
[John Green and David Levithan stand side by side.]
[John:] This is a huge deal, David.
[David:] Okay.
[John:] This is a rare privilege.
[David:] I'm nervous.
[John:] Deep breath.
[David:] What if my eye fails?
[John:] On 3.
[David:] Alright.
[John:] 1... 2... 3...
[David winks (ding). John winks (ding)] [Text on screen: INTENSE DING!]
[John:] That ding is gonna be intense.
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[The coffee pot is now on the table. With his arms still trapped in his sweater, Craig picks up the coffee pot with his mouth and pours coffee into the mug. He leans over and takes a sip from the mug without moving it from the table.] Arms reduction sucks.

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, song, headlines, alternate camera angle, "I love it when the coffee's done!", wink

External links

START on YouTube