|Original Upload date
June 12, 2007|
|Wink submitted by
Good evening complete strangers. It's June 12th. We don't have a lot of time so let's get started.
The reason we don't have a lot of time is because I have to prepare... for a ROCK SHOW! And the venue has asked us to load in at a time that I would say is a little too early. That venue shall remain nameless because it's a good venue and I don't want to speak badly about it publicly.
[Craig drinks from a wine bottle.] Hmmm.... this bottle is empty.
Anyway there was a lot of awesome stuff I had planned for you but I'm going to have to shorten it.
Typically rock music is associated with things like [starts showing pictures of Avril Lavigne] rowdiness, non-conformity, anarchy. (She spells Lavigne with a G. That's craaaaaaazyyyy.) And rebelling against authority.
Typically to prepare for a rock show I often like to pretend to be my mother and berate myself until I get really upset and decide to rebel against my self-mother.
[Mother:] Craig! You didn't clean the bathtub!
I did clean the bathtub.
[Mother:] What do you have to say for yourself?
[Mother:] Lazy! Stupid!
No I'm not.
No I'm not.
[Mother:] Fat! Waste of space!
[Mother:] Horrible person!
I hate you! [Craig begins to fake cry]
[Mother:] Fat! Fat!
I hate you! No! I can't take it anymore!
Raawwwr. [Craig transforms into a wig-wearing, guitar-wielding, Benzine-t-shirt-wearing version of himself.] I'm out of here, Mom!
And then I do a bunch of other stuff and then I'm ready to go.
One last thing. If anyone has any ideas for what I should do for this show, you should e-mail me or tell me in the comments. It's like a Choose Your Own Craig Adventure sort of thing. I will put my e-mail up soon.
Thank you. Time to go.
complete strangers, Benzine t-shirt
Rock Show! on YouTube