Remember Mother's Day?

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"Remember Mother's Day?"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 158
2009
Original Upload date May 13, 2009
Running time 0:02:34
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro website/youtube outro
Wink submitted by Craig's mom
Great People
Guests: Craig's mom
Craig's sister Melissa
Craig's dad
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Fiscal Challenge"
Next →
"Joe the Torture Photographer"

Video

Transcript

[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. [singing:] Beardlovers [singing into a fan:] Faces in disguise.
What do Bristol Palin, Madonna, and Murphy Brown have in common? They're all mothers.
What do Samuel L. Jackson, Charles Bronson, and, well, Murphy Brown have in common? They're all bad-ass mothers.
What do Charles Manson, Charles in Charge, and Charles Bronson Pinchot have in common? They all have mothers.
What do Katie Holmes, Kathie Lee Gifford, and Britney Spears have in common? They're all crazy as *shirt*.
If you haven't picked up on the theme, today I'm celebrating one of my favorite holidays - three days after Mothers Day [title on screen: In the USA]. It's right up there with two days after Halloween and 13 days before up until 20 days after my birthday.
[Craig at window as his hypothetical mother:] Let's hear it for three days after Mothers Day, mother*ding*ers! [slaps slap bracelet on wrist] Woo!
My family celebrated early. On Sunday. Mothers Day.
[Craig gets out of his Fiesta on a residential street.] Hey Mom!
[Craig's mom opens her arms for a hug.]
[Craig:] Happy Mothers Day! [Craig trips on the lawn. Starts crying. Grabs his leg.] Owowwww Mommy. I need a band-aid. Go get me a band-aid! [Craig's mother turns and starts walking into the house.]
[In the kitchen, Craig's mom is doing something as Craig walks in drinking from a cup.]
[Craig's mom:] Make sure you put that cup in the dishwasher.
[Craig:] Absolutely. [throws cup on the floor.]
[Craig is cutting his food on a little table in front of the TV. His mom is eating at another one. Craig takes a bite of his food.] Aaaa! Hot hot hot! [waving his hand in front of his mouth] Oh! Hot! Mom! Ice cube! [Craig's mom leaps up.] Mom! Get me an ice cube! Now! Get me an ice cube! Ow!!
[Craig's mom returns with the ice cube, tries to give it to Craig:] Here! Here!
[Craig, pushing her hand away:] Actually, I'm okay now. I'm okay. Thanks.
[Craig's mom eats and then says to Craig, who has a bottle of wine on his table:] Hey, can you pass the wine?
[Craig:] Mom, you're hysterical. [shot of Craig's mom staring at him] Mom! Just relax! Just relax... I can't eat like this, Mom. Just relax. [shot of Craig's sister looking at him, confused] You're hysterical. [shot of Craig's dad, who nods]
[Craig's mom sits at table, reading and eating. Craig walks up and hugs her.]
[Craig:] Happy birthday Mom.
[Craig's mom:] It's not my birthday.
[Craig:] Oh... happy... Christmas Mom.
[Craig's mom:] It's not Christmas.
[Craig:] Is it... happy Earth Day Mom.
[Craig's mom:] No.
[Craig:] Huh. Is it my birthday? Will you wish me a happy birthday?
[Craig's mom:] No.
[Craig:] Hmmm. Huh. Okay. [lets go of his mom and starts walking away. turns around quickly and returns to hug her again.] Happy Mothers Day.
[Craig's mom:] Thanks son.
[Craig's mom winks (ding)]
[Craig:] You look like you're in pain when you do it.
[Craig's mom winks again (ding). She laughs. We can hear Craig's dad, off camera, also laughing.] I can't wink very good apparently. [winks (ding) winks (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[outtakes. Craig walks up and gives his mom a hug:] Happy birthday Mom.
[Craig's mom:] It's not my birthday.
[Craig:] Oh. Happy Christmas Mom.
[Craig's mom starts to laugh:] It's not Christ... [laughs. Craig laughs.]
[Craig walks away:] Let's do it again.
[Craig's mom laughs hard:] It's not Happy Christmas.

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, *shirt*, hypothetical mother, *ding*, slap bracelet, wink, outtakes

External links

Remember Mother's Day? on YouTube