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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 411
Original Upload date October 20, 2010
Running time 0:04:18
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by matthewgaydos
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
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"Wheezy Institute"
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[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Still on vacation. Ahhh. [Leans back with his hands behind his head.] Cue beach sounds. [Beach sounds] [sighs] It's time to relax. Take our time. Think about a past love. Think about a current love. Think about Courtney Love. Don't think about Courtney Love! Think about your past and maybe when you were playing with toys as a little kid. Legos. Or something. Vacation is my favorite reason to vacate. A close second would be the cops are here. I guess third would probably be EXPLOSION!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hi. It's WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY... hey clone, catch! [throws pen, which clone catches]
[Clone:] Oh wow! Thank you! [Walks out of frame]
[Craig looks confused for a few moments until there's an explosion offscreen which we can see part of.]
Guess what? Explosion Wednesday is definitely a thing... is what it seems the majority of people in the comments say that I should say. Thank you for your input. I will definitely take that into consideration when I make my final decision, which is not now.
Speaking of comments, sonic123488 writes [shows comment] Hey! Can you throw this comment at the eagle and kill it once and for all?
That's a great idea. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words explode! [Throws comment into sky. It flies past the eagle, who squawks.]
Oh that's right. No they don't. No.
Wait a second. [sniffs] I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done! I don't think I'm gonna drink any today though. I don't feel like having any. [pause] What?!
But speaking of coffee, [shows article] Starbucks LAUNCHES in-store digital network with lots of free content.
They've been starting to offer free wi-fi. Why do they need their own specific network? [reads from article] Oh because we get free subscriptions to the Wall Street... Journal? But they're also gonna give out free music tracks. Hopefully from people they sponsored in the past like Sarah McLachlan, [talks slower] Twilight soundtrack, [falling asleep] Jakob Dylan. I don't understand how this can help. [snores/naps] Ugh. I need some coffee. [Picture of Starbucks coffee] Brilliant.
Dream my way to the coffee!
[As Craig leans back, mouth open, asleep, a ghost figure of Craig sits up, goes into kitchen, comes back from kitchen with coffee, sits back down and leans into sleeping position, reintegrating with Craig. He wakes up. Raises his head. Sips the coffee.] Mmm. This coffee tastes like... dynamite? [He explodes.] [Craig wakes up.] It was all a dream. [sips coffee] Still tastes like dynamite, though.
Hey kid, you ever eaten dynamite? It's really fun. Hahaha. Don't!
In space news, [shows article] Huge alien planet has mysterious HOT SPOT. [reads from article] The warmest part of the planet isn't the sun-baked face according to a new study. A spot way over on the side of the planet is actually much hotter.
Stars can be so weird sometimes. [The fiery, angry sun enters the frame and looms over Craig.] Not you! Not you! Totally average. Totally average. Totally normal! [The sun retreats] Our star's completely normal. It doesn't bake the side of things more than the front. What else we got? [He turns and we see Craig's ear is on fire. Turns back to camera.] What's that? [Turns his head again and we see his ear on fire. Turns to camera.] What'd you say? [Turns his head. Ear is still on fire. Turns to camera.] How's that? [Turns his head. Ear still burns. Turns to camera.] Come again? [Turns his head. Ear is still on fire. Turns to camera.] What now [Turns his head. Ear is still on fire. Turns to camera.] Huh? [Turns his head. Ear is still on fire. Turns to camera.] What?
Anyway, in the YouTube Moderator, DragonballToys suggested that for my vacation I should [shows comment] come to the Chicago Lego store and build some stuff random with us!
Oh wow, Legos? I mentioned those at the beginning of this video. It's as if I knew I was gonna talk about them. Hahahaha. I did. Not. Not. Intentional double negative.
Alright, let's not not go to the Lego store.
[Shot of Lego store. Craig sitting at a table.] Alright, let's build something. [DPC music plays as Craig builds a Lego statue with the letter W on it.] So this is my Wheezy wall. I talked to management here and they're gonna make it a permanent fixture. It's way better than the Darth Vader [shot of Lego Darth Vader] or the R2-D2 [shot of Lego R2-D2]. Psh. So yeah, come to the store and look at it. [Craig's Lego statue explodes.] Ohhh! Stupid Wednesday!
[Viewer:] Oooooo...... [Text on screen: Thanks to Matthew for helping me film in the Lego Store. http: //] [Matthew takes a big breath.] [Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
Alright guys, if you haven't yet, leave a Supernote video response with a wink. [whispers] We're gaining on Shay Carl! Every little bit counts. I don't care if you can't sing or if it's really short. Just please... let's do it! Win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win!! Win.
[Craig walks up to a huge Lego statue of a person:] Excuse me, sir. Which way to the Lego store? [waits a few moments] Fine! Jerk! [walks away]

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, clone, exploding pens, Explosion Wednesday, comments, eagle, "I love it when the coffee's done!", headlines, angry sun, Supernote, wink

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External links

Relaaaaaax on YouTube