[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Today I wanted to talk to you about something very interesting and really personal that you might not know about me. Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait EXPLOSION!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
It's WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY [runs into the kitchen. Runs onto the rooftop.] EXPLOSION [An explosion propels Craig off the roof] WEDNESDAY [Craig, who has landed on the street, is propelled by another explosion back into his apartment. He lands in the whale tank.] [whale sounds] [He climbs out of the whale tank] Broke another whale tank cover.
In explosion news [shows article] Giant rats put noses to work on Africa's land mine epidemic. [shows picture of rat sniffing landmine] Aww, look at the adorable wittle [Explosion. The screen is black.] Oh dear. That's terrible. I don't know how I feel about putting those things in that kind of danger. [Sound of mousetrap springing] That's right. I need to buy more cheese.
[Reads from article] Bart Weetjens is the brain and Buddhist monk behind APOPO, Anti-Personnel Land Mines Detection Product Development. Which is in direct competition with my program Come On Worry About Retreating Damnit. [Text appears on screen as he says that: C.O.W.A.R.D.]
[Reads article] In a land where resources are scarce, Weetjens felt rats were suited for the task. [Laughs] [Continues reading] He had to get past people laughing at his plan. [Still laughing, Craig stops himself.] Good job.
[Continues reading] In 2008 and 2009, the rats found almost 400 mines. Wow, that's really good. We oughta take care of those little guys from now on. [Sound of another mousetrap springing] Moving on.
[shows another article] Asteroid buzzes Earth; another one coming. [Makes scared noise when showing graphic of the asteroid's path past Earth. Reads from article] The double encounter is an unusual event that shows the need for closer monitoring of near space for Earth-threatening encounters, according to NASA.
Oh, *NASA* says. Well, it's not as unusual as NASA thinks because they don't have my asteroid goggles. [Puts on his oversized colorful sunglasses] I'm saving the world every day. With my exploding pens. [holds up pens] And marker. [points to a marker amongst the pens]
[Craig stands in the street below as shapes of asteroids, like those from the video game Asteroids, float through the air, and he throws exploding pens at them to explode them. In the upper lefthand corner, we see his score increase with each explosion. When a fragment of an asteroid gets him, the words Game Over appear onscreen:]
[Craig laughs, standing by the window:] Well, my clones are saving the world. Bring in the next one!
[Viewer:] Erosion Wednesday! [looks offscreen] What? Explosion Wednesday? But... [gasps. Explosion offscreen. Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Asteroid buzzes Earth. Another one coming. [Makes scared noise. And another. And another. And another.] Giant rats put noses to work on Africa's landmine emp... [Burps. A fire emanates from his mouth when he exhales] Whew. That was a strong burp.
Hey everybody. I'm thinking about making Explosion Wednesday a regular thing. I don't know yet for sure, though. I'll let you know if I decide to. You don't want to rush into these things.
singing rug, beardlovers, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait..., Explosion Wednesday, whale tank, headlines, exploding pens, clone, wink, outtakes
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