[slides in/singing rug]
Who in god's name's video did you click on?!!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Oh... that... that's me.
So I was gonna talk about the news today but that's difficult because [shot of Craig sitting at his computer. On monitor, there's a piece of paper that says "Internet Broken." Forghorn sound.]
I guess we'll see what's on the radio. [holds up radio]
So this group of kids went to the prom in a limo and then they thought the limo was stolen but apparently it was just taken back by the repo man. It was a miscommunication. Here... here's the article. [turns up radio]
[Radio voice:] It's an hour out to O'Hare, Kennedy inbound...
Tra... traffic report? No, no. Back. [looks at the top of radio] Where's the back button on this?
This radio sucks.
I'm gonna go to a new radio page. [twists dial]
[On the radio, people are speaking in another language] What's happening?
[Music] This music makes me think of vampires.
[Radio:] Nearly one in five Americans has herpes simplex virus.
[Music plays. Craig dances.]
[looking at radio] I disagree with your comment, Debbie! Madonna IS a good actress. What about A League of Their Own? That movie empowers women and warms the heart. Thumbs down. Click. [Holds his thumbs-down up to radio.]
It's good to want the same thing in a relationship. [Song plays:] What I want want want is what you want want want.
Guerilla radio! Rage against the machine! Having your music distributed on commercial rad... i... o.
DJs on commercial radio sound so hip. [imitates them] They talk like this, and it doesn't even matter what they're talking about. For instance...
[DJ on radio:] Authorities in Washington... okay? ... they busted a bestiality club.
But when you go to public radio... [turns dial]
[DJ on public radio:] Ohio Senna Road McKennett Lake Avenue Womett 25 minutes... [Craig starts nodding off]
Hear that? This guy sounds like he's bald.
[Radio plays MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This"] Did I just travel through time? [looks around]
[As a song starts playing, Craig smiles and nods. The song is by Phil Collins.] That was my first reaction right there. Once I heard Genesis. [Annotation on screen: Just Phil Collins. Not Genesis. Didn't have the internet to look it up!] I smiled.
[turns radio off] I think the radio changed me.
And I wonder why hardly anyone I know listens to the radio anymore. Except for Craig with a Wig. Why do you listen to the radio, Craig with a Wig?
[Craig with a Wig:] The GEICO commercials make me laugh. And I hate laughter.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig [turns his head and smiles] [toy piano key]
[dancing in his chair to the radio] Being without the internet is not so bad. See you guys tomorrow. [Holds up his notebook to camera. On the page, he's written "Help me!"]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro graphic as Craig does a voiceover in his DJ voice] Thank you for watching Wheezy Waiter, the show... that you just watched.
[listening to radio] Oh, there's gonna be a recount in Baghdad. The parliamentary erect... elections held in Iraq...
singing rug, Craig with a Wig, wink, outtakes
Radio Killed the Internet Nerd on YouTube