[Craig is standing in front of a car, in a driveway, waving.]
Hey beardlovers. I'm here in sunny L.A. [The image behind him disappears. It's a greenscreen.] Oh wait, no I'm not. Oh wait, yes I am. [Runs and stands outside in the driveway, behind a big camera and lights.] Sunny L.A.! In retrospect, the greenscreen may have been a waste of time.
[Greg Benson walks up:] Hey, Craig!
[Craig:] Oh, hey Greg.
[Greg:] How'd that greenscreen work out?
[Craig:] Oh yeah, it's working out great. [Looks at camera.]
[Greg:] You know it's a family heirloom? My grandmother made that. She was so excited you're gonna use it. Good, right? You like it?
[Craig nods:] Yeah.
[Greg:] You like it?
[Craig:] It's very good.
[Craig:] Yeah, I just...
[Greg:] You like it!
[Craig:] I really like it.
[Craig:] Yeah. It worked well.
[Greg:] Yes, you like!
[Craig:] Mmm hmm.
[Greg:] You like green screen!
[Craig:] Yeah. It's...
[Greg:] Useful? Useful green screen?
[Craig:] ... it's gonna... gonna really work out.
[Greg:] You really utilized that green screen!
[Craig:] Mmm hmm.
[Greg:] You used it good!
[Greg:] It makes my life good knowing that you utilized the green screen good.
[Craig runs away.]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. it's been a few days since I saw you last, but don't get upset about it. I'm not upset about it. [starts crying] Oooh! Didn't brush my teeth today. [Breathes into his hand and smells it. Foghorn sound. He passes out. Sits back up.] I didn't just faint from my own stinkbreath. [As he repeats it, music and drumbeat can be heard behind it, like a song.] I didn't just faint from my own stinkbreath. I didn't just faint from my own stinkbreath. I didn't just faint from my own stinkbreath. I didn't just faint from my own stinkbreath. [Drumbeat stops] Sorry. I've been in Los Angeles for far too long. I think everything is entertainment.
[Speech impediment guy:] Why aw you in Los Angeles Wheezy Waitoe?
For a number of reasons!
[Speech impediment guy:] Moe specificawee Wheezy Waitoe?
Disney invited me to the Tron premiere, and I'm attending Project for Awesome Live tomorrow.
[Speech impediment guy:] Okay Wheezy Waitoe that is satisfactoe-y.
I got a bunch of footage of the Tron premiere red carpet. Technically, blue carpet. And I'm going to tell you all about right at this exact not now.
Why not now?!
Because today I'm doing my Project for Awesome video. I have to talk about my charity!
You just grunted at charity. That makes you a bad person.
Ohhh. Guilty feeling.
See? Guilt is a dish best served ... to someone other than me.
That's right. It's time for Project for Awesome, the time when the YouTube community all makes videos about a charity and uploads it and then everyone else in the community favorites and thumbs-up and comments, shooting all the videos straight to the top so that they're all on the front page of YouTube. And charity is taking over YouTube for the day. But it's more than just one day this time. Tomorrow for four hours on YouTube there is gonna be a live broadcast promoting Project for Awesome, and it's gonna have special guests and stuff, like me.
All the info's at projectforawesome dot com. Not a very original URL but very useful. Very useful.
I am also raffling off my colorful [word over his mouth: signed] child's keyboard, because I think I have grown up now. Breathing is my thing not yours. I was here first 2010 no changes. [Breathes in and out rapidly.] To enter the raffle, follow the link in the doobly-doo, donate ten dollars, and all the money goes to water dot org. That's my charity for the raffle, but not my charity for this Project for Awesome video. My charity this year is the same as last year, Action Against Hunger. Second year, same as the fir... the previous year.
Action Against Hunger is a global humanitarian organization committed to ending world hunger.
Ugh! I hate world hunger! Who likes it? Besides Aunt Judy?
Actually, even she probably hates world hunger.
This video's getting progressively grainier. That's because I want to reflect the poor conditions that many people in the world have to suffer through. Actually, the sun's just going down. I filmed this video the evening before Project for Awesome.
Action Against Hunger has worked in over 40 countries to end malnutrition. They've responded to the cholera outbreak in Haiti, the floods in Pakistan, the volcano in Indonesia. They've done a lot of good things. If you'd like to know more, go to actionagainsthunger dot org. If you'd like to know less, too bad. It's in your brain now.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
Hello, this is me after the credits reminding you that it's Project for Awesome today, December 17th 2010. And if you'd like to promote a charity, you should make a video and upload it. And watch other Project for Awesome videos, comment, rate, and favorite them. It's getting really grainy now. Remember to check out the raffle for my keyboard, linked in the doobly-doo. And remember the Project for Awesome Live on December 18th for four hours on YouTube.
The grain on my mane drives the ladies insane. [stares at camera for a few moments] I should send this grain to Action Against Hunger. Hehe. Get it? 'Cause grain? 'Cause grain? Get it? 'Cause food? It's food. Get it? Hehe.