Pixar and Youtube
|"Pixar and Youtube"|
|Original Upload date||April 5, 2011|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||summergreen500|
Alex Day (nerimon)|
other Pixar people
people at YouTube
[slides in/singing rug]
[Speech impediment guy:] Wheh wuh you, Wheezy Waito?
[Speech impediment guy:] You haven't upwoaded a video in five-foteenths of a fotenight.
[Speech impediment guy:] Exactwee.
[Craig:] So... five days?
[Speech impediment guy:] Exactwee.
[Craig:] Oh. I was in San Francisco.
[Speech impediment guy:] The Bay Awea? In Noethen Califoenia?
[Craig:] Yes, that's right.
[Speech impediment guy:] Wikely stowey. Yoe woods awe woaded with wies.
[Craig:] Are you trying to say words with Rs and Ls in them?
[Speech impediment guy:] I wesent the swander. I will retweat to my quoetas and wick my wahwee-pop.
[Craig:] We have lollipops? You have quarters?
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[shot of skyline and sun glinting off building] Oooh, shiny thing. Also, [fart noise] downtown San Francisco. But oooh, shiny thing.
That's right. I was in San Francisco. Why was I there? Because I was invited to tour Pixar. PIXAR. Pix... cks... cks... cks... xar.
You've heard of Pixar, right? The production company that made such movies as Toy Story, Tootsie, Wall-E, not Tootsie?
Allow me to regale you with my adventure even though I haven't galed you the first time. Implied gale! [Text on screen: Implied gale!]
Before getting on the bus I obviously had a priority.
[Craig, walking:] Coffee coffee coffee ... excuse me... uh... someone said the coffee was done over here? Is the coffee done?
I waited nervously with the camera pointed at my face. [camera pointed at his face inside a cafe]
Hey, this Starbucks was called The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. [sign for The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf]
The name of the thing is the things that make it possible?
That's like calling Gap... the cotton seed and polyethylene terephthalate.
Or McDonalds burgers ... cows and everything.
Or Jim Belushi... John Belushi.
Or me... Ze Frank. And coffee.
[Craig walking outside:] Yeah, the coffee... the coffee's done.
On the bus, I noticed some weird English dude stalking me with a camera. [Alex Day (nerimon) filming Craig on a bus.]
To lighten the mood, I got us all to sing Disney songs.
[Craig, singing:] Hi ho, hi... [looks behind him. No one else on the bus is singing.] I mean, failed to get us all to sing Disney songs.
Hey look! Imperial Walkers! [shot of big white equipment at port near Bay Bridge] Must be Skywalker Ranch.
Finally made it to Pixar, where balls are always well-lit. [Giant lamp pointed at ball on the ground outside.] They spelled their name backwards. [shot of Pixar sign from the back] Embarrassing.
Hey, it's Lego Buzz and Lego Woody and Lego English... oh... oh no, that's that real English stalker again. [Alex standing near Lego Buzz and Lego Woody, camera pointed at Craig.]
So I was walking along minding my own business when I got into a spontaneous zoom stare with Lotso. [Craig walking smiling, sees Lotso. Cuts between zoom shots zooming in on Craig and then Lotso]
Be careful at Pixar [drinking from a cup]. You never know what's real and what's animated. [Raises his hand to take another sip but there's no cup in it anymore.]
Got a sneak peek at the filming of Toy Story 4. [shot of some big dolls of the alien dolls]
And these two ladies maintain the Pixar Archive, which serves the purpose of constantly reminding me how terrible at drawing I am by comparison. [The ladies show some drawings from Cars.]
[back in his apartment, drawing, holds up drawing:] Well, just compare me to any two-year old and it would be the same thing.
[back in the Pixar Archive, Craig films some models of the cars and asks:] And are these made of chocolate and can I eat them?
[The archivists laugh. The one with the gloves replies:] You know what? There is a lot of roughage involved. These are cast urethane resin and I wouldn't recommend it. [laughs]
[Craig:] Okay. Thank you. Thank you.
Then we met these guys who talked about modeling cool stuff like this [shows model of car] and this [modeling on computer] and this [previous model with color] and this [model of plane on computer] but I couldn't pay attention to anything except that guy's glorious face forest. [closeup of guy's beard] Look at the white weeds dancing atop the dark garden of fuzzy magic. Jealous jealous jealous jealous jealous. I had to get outta there.
So we went and talked to the resident car expert, but I couldn't see his beard until he turned his head and oh, he didn't even have a beard at all. Psh, whatever. Psh. Not listening to this guy.
Then we met the actors of Finding Nemo [giant statue of Finding Nemo characters] but they forgot that they needed to live in sea water, so they died.
Here's a bunch of stuff I wasn't allowed to film. [All blurred/pixelated out]
[shot of a chair.] So supposedly this chair was in Walt Disney's office. [Craig asks as he sits down:] Do you think he sat down and went aaaah, like that? You think he did that? [sits down again] Aaaah. Or maybe 'you're fired.' 'You're hired.'
Then we spoke to this guy who also did not have a beard but then I turned my head and saw this guy who did have a beard and it was the same size as mine. Therefore, I found his words fascinating.
And then I talked to John Lasseter! Despite not having a beard, he is Executive Producer of all Pixar movies and director of Toy Story 1 and 2 and Cars 1 and soon-to-be-released Cars 2. I'll put the full interview on my second channel. But I asked him:
[Craig:] Who do I talk to animate an episode of Wheezy Waiter?
[John Lasseter:] Talk to?
[John Lasseter:] Uhhh... I don't think you have the budget, really, sorry, for Pixar.
I also talked to producer Denise Ream, who informed me
[Denise:] I love it when the coffee's done. [wink (ding)]
[Craig:] Me too. Me too.
And sat down with that beardless car guy Jay Ward again who redeemed himself.
[Jay Ward:] I love it when the coffee's done.
[Craig:] I do too. I really do. So could you name the cars... all the cars... in Cars 2? Just list them off.
[Jay Ward:] I don't know if it's possible to name all the cars. There's so many! There's over 240 unique cars in the new movie alone. You've got Francesca. You've got Lightning McQueen. I mean, the new Lightning McQueen with the new body, all the new flares and chairs and all the cool stuff on him. You've got a new version of Mater. You've got rockets and boosters. [Jay Ward explodes, leaving his chair empty and spinning.]
[Craig:] Wow, I guess it must be Wednesday.
It actually wasn't, and it's not even a thing.
So it was really inspiring to be in such a creative place with all these people who work together [panning across a wall of photos of Pixar employees] and stalk me with a camera [Alex, camera pointed at Craig, stands next to the pictures]. Oh that guy again.
Then I rode around on a scooter. [Craig riding a scooter] But I wasn't at Pixar anymore. I was at...
[Craig rides up on scooter:] YouTube.
That's right. [shot of the outside of YouTube] The headquarters of [camera pans quickly to the left] Carls Junior [shot of Carls Jr. across the street from YouTube] ... I mean, YouTube. [camera swings back to show the outside of YouTube]
YouTube is lobby. [shot of lobby] YouTube is a bunch of cubicles. [shot of bunch of cubicles] Ping pong table and Mortal Kombat. [shot of ping pong table and Mortal Kombat game] Giant pool. [shot of pool] Mountain. [Craig climbing rock-climbing wall]
[Craig calls down to the camera from the top of a high wall with big YouTube logo on it.] At YouTube headquarters, you can do anything! Jump! [Jumps. Craig groans in pain as camera tilts down and finds him lying on the ground.] OWWW!
I had a great time but let me tell you it's good to be back home in sunny Los Angeles where my Pixar nametag said I was from. [Shows nametag which says: Friday, April 1st, 2011. Craig Benzine. Wheezy Waiter (You Tube star) Los Angeles]
The whole purpose of the trip was that Pixar is actually releasing the movie Cars 2 pretty soon, and I got to see a portion of it. And let me tell you... no, actually, I'm not allowed to tell you anything. So... There's talking cars in it.
Talking cars... that's kind of ridiculous. I like my entertainment as believable as possible. [The eagle appears in the background, squawking as it dives into the whale tank. Whale sounds.] Oh no! The eagle has flown into the whale tank again! Go get him, clone! [A clone does a cannonball into the whale tank.] Yeah! Punch him! [We can see the arm of the clone as he raises it, fist clenched, before punching the eagle.] Punch him again! [Arm raises up again and he punches.] Don't punch him! [Clone raises his arm, fist clenched, but lowers his arm without punching the eagle.] Now punch him! [He punches the eagle again.] Hit him with a laser! [laser sound] Hit him with a tomato! [sound of tomato landing on eagle] Now scurry away! [scurrying away sound, like from a Roadrunner cartoon.] Nicely done. Spot on. Really.
[Drawing of Craig winks (ding)] [Title: not drawn by Pixar] [Wheezy Waiter outro music, provided by the winker, accompanies the wink]
[Title on screen: YouTube massage chair] [Craig is sitting in the massage chair] Oh... oh yeah! That's the stuff! Have you tried this?
[People off camera laugh and say yes.]
[Craig:] You do this all day long.
[Female voice off camera:] People work in those sometimes.
[Craig:] Whoa! It just keeps getting... getting better and better. I gotta get one of these. I gotta get three of these. My butt has never vibrated so much. Oooh... now my... my legs! What's happening? What are you guys doing to me? What's happening? Ohhhhhhhh. Has anyone ever died in one of these?
[Male voice off camera:] Not that I know of.
[Craig basically purrs as the chair vibrates. Someone enters the room. Craig greets them:] Hello.
[Female voice off-camera:] Hi.
[Craig:] Hi. Just sitting in the massage chair. Alright, can you guys leave the room? I'm gonna try it naked now. Oh! Whoaaaaa!
Pixar and Youtube on YouTube