Pitchfork Music Festival (Ford Fiesta Mission 3)
|"Pitchfork Music Festival (Ford Fiesta Mission 3)"|
|Original Upload date||July 20, 2009|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Walker|
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Title on screen: Ford Fiesta Mission #3]
[Craig is outside, walking down sidewalk.]
Hey beardlovers. The Ford Fiesta people are asking me to go to the Pitchfork Music Festival and then an afterparty hosted by Rebecca Turbow. And they want me to bring some girls, which should be easy. I'm very appealing to the ladies. [Stops, looks to someone off camera.] Hey, wanna go to the Pitchfork Music Festival? [The person off camera slaps him] Ahh!
[Walks down sidewalk, rubbing his cheek. Sees someone else, off camera.] Oh hey, wanna go to the Pitchfork Music... [he gets slapepd (on his other cheek this time)] Ahh!
[walking down sidewalk, rubbing his face.] Oh hey! [gets slapped]
[walks down sidewalk, rubbing his face. Gets slapped.] I didn't even say anything.
[walks down sidewalk] Oh hey, wanna go to the Pitchfork Festival? [he winces as a woman's hand comes close to slapping him but stops an inch or two from his face]
[Woman with dark hair:] What's in it for me?
[Craig:] Umm, lots of money?
[Woman with dark hair:] Okay! Yeah!
[Craig and the woman with dark hair walk down sidewalk. Craig sees someone off camera:] Hey! You want lots of money?
[Woman with red hair:] Hell yeah! I love money.
[Craig whispers to camera as in the background the two women open the door to get into the backseat of the Fiesta:] Totally got some ladies. I had to pay them, though. [turns to them:] Hey, one of you can get in the front. [The women laugh.]
[Craig gets into his car. The two women are in the backseat.] Alright.... to the festival! [they all put their seatbelts on.] Parking near the festival is a little difficult so I'm gonna have to park a little bit early. So... [Craig pulls forward a foot or so.] Aaaand we're here. Okay. Let's go! Festival! [Craig gets out of car as the two women look at each other incredulously.]
[Craig, to the women:] So the entrance is coming up, guys, so here's your tickets ... ummm... What we should first... [the women take the tickets and take off walking] ... is we.... [Craig turns and watches the women running down the sidewalk, waving their tickets]
[Craig:] You gotta try on your designer clothes!
[Women stop and turn around.]
[Woman with red hair:] Designer clothes?
[Woman with dark hair:] Alright. You can walk behind us.
[Craig, to camera, as he walks behind the women:] I'm totally walking with girls right now. I'm going with girls to the festival! Awesome!
[Craig:] Hey girls, wait up!
[Woman with dark hair:] Sshhh!
[Shot of Rebecca Turbow, fashion designer, and the two women checking out her clothes and talking with her, trying stuff on.]
[Craig:] Hey I'm at the Pitchfork Music Festival with Safe Clothes talking to designer Rebecca Turbow. [turns camera to a man. Title on screen: Alex, not Rebecca Turbow.]
[Craig:] How do you see the... the, uh... the state of Safe Clothes in... uh.... [Alex gets up and leaves. Goes and talks to the women that came with Craig. They all talk and laugh together. Craig watches them.]
[Craig lying down on a blanket, with a CD pressed against his ear:] Listening to music. Pitchfork! [Sleeps]
[Girl with the dark hair walks up:] Hey, I'm going to Matt and Kim. You wanna come?
[Craig wakes up:] Really?
[Voiceover over footage of Craig and woman with dark hair dancing in the crowd:] The sound here had to be removed for legal reasons but it sounded something like this: Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot psh doot doot psh.
[Craig talking to woman with red hair:] So what kinda... what kind of music do you like?
[Woman with red hair:] Well... mostly David Hasselhoff. And other stuff. Stuff that sounds like David Hasselhoff.
[Craig:] I love David Hasselhoff.
[Woman with red hair:] What? You do? Maybe I don't hate you.
[Title on screen: A few hours later...]
[Craig walking side by side with the two women, who are smiling.]
[Craig:] Two girls! Not behind. I'm walking side by side with two girls!
[Title on screen: 5 ego boosting minutes later...]
[Craig:] I'm walking with two girls. I do it all the time. Not a big deal. Kinda wish I was walking with three. Hey, let's go in the bar and get a drink, huh?
[shot of bar sign: Tuman's. shot of woman behind bar.]
[Craig, still with the two women:] Excuse me, ugly girl? [Girl behind bar leans over] Could I have a drink please? [As girl behind the bar turns to get drink. Craig and the two women laugh.]
[Craig sitting with the two women:] Totally walked with two girls today. Yeah. yeah. Awesome. Let's get another drink.
[Woman with red hair:] Alright.
[Craig and the two women at the bar again:] Hey excuse me, ugly girl, could I have a drink, please? [Girl behind bar leans over. Craig and the two women laugh as girl behind bar goes to get the drink.]
[Craig sitting outside with the two women, who appear bored:] Let's talk about David Hasselhoff!
[Woman with red hair:] Yeah!
[Woman with dark hair:] Yeah!
[Craig:] Alright! [They all clink glasses.] Let's get another drink first.
[Craig and the two women back at the bar:] Hey excuse me ugly girl, can I have a drink please?
[Girl behind the bar takes off her glasses. Craig and the two women laugh, but Craig suddenly stops laughing.]
[The girl from behind the bar scoots up onto the bar and struts down the bar, jumps down, turns, and goes back behind the bar. She puts her glasses back on. Goes back to fixing drinks.]
[Craig:] Hey excuse me, ugly girl. [Girl behind the bar comes up] Can I have a drink please? [Craig and the two women laugh. Girl behind the bar throws up her hands in exasperation.]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro graphic with different music playing]
[Titles on screen:]
[Special Thanks to:]
[Elizabeth Nelson] [picture of woman with dark hair]
[Whitney Johnson] [picture of woman with red hair]
[Rebecca Turbow rebeccaturbow.com] [picture of Rebecca Turbow]
[Alex Keith rebeccaturbow.com] [picture of Alex]
[Molly Marcucci littlemollycake.com] [footage of girl behind bar walking on bar]
[David Hasselhoff] [picture of a hamburger with Image Unavailable over it]
[Craig on sidewalk} Hey! Wanna go to the Pitchfork Music Festival? [gets slapped and walks past Whitney, who slapped him. Laughs.] Wow.