[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
I have a tendency to tell people I'll do things for them.
[Craig and a clone sit side by side.]
[Clone:] Hey, you think you can give me a foot massage?
[Craig:] Foot massage? Absolutely, dude!
[Clone:] Awesome. Cause I think one of my corns is infected. Throb city. Ow! Better use some cream.
[Craig looks disgusted.]
And I usually follow through or I suffer extreme guilt. Because if I didn't follow through, I'd be a flake. And that's probably worse than saying no to everything.
[Clone, receiving his foot massage from Craig who is offscreen:] Oh yeah, oh yeah. Circular motion. That's good. That's really good. Oh yeah!
In this case, I probably should have been a flake.
[Craig, heard but not seen:] A giant flake of skin just came off!
[Clone:] That's okay, that happens.
Not that kind of flake.
One thing I said I'd do a few weeks ago is answer a question or two in the comments. Didn't do that.
[Clone, on screen alone:] Flake! Oh yeah, keep rubbing!
So here's one question rlfblue2121 asked, "What's that poster above your TV about?" [Craig points to it.] You mean that one? [Craig sort of dances/prances over to it, takes it off wall, dances/prances back, and holds it up to camera.] It's a flyer for the premiere of a movie I made with some friends a while ago. It's silent movie set to a rock album recorded by a band that I'm in called Ozark Cousins.
I'm an actor in the movie and I edited it. Edited it. Edited it. Edited it. Edited it. I'm an actor in the movie and I edited it. Edited it.
The whole movie's on YouTube. There's a link in the doobly-doo. Doobly-doo. Doobly-doo. Doobly... Why am I so messed up?
There. I followed through on something and promoted me. [smiles]
Now I'll follow through on some more stuff.
[holds up a glass that says The Second City on it] Second City is an improv club and they invited me to one of their shows last week.
I entered the club like this. [walks from window to the kitchen:] I'm so angry! I hate the world!
And then I exited like this. [walks from the kitchen to the window:] I'm laughing! And I'm happy! Even though I still hate the world!
It just occurred to me, maybe on a night out, I wouldn't hate the world so much if I wore shoes. [shows a still from a second before with his socked feet highlighted]
It was truly awesome. Thank you very much. If you're in the Chicago area, check it out.
Did you know porphyrophobia is the fear of the color purple? Which I don't suffer from. [Begins distancing himself from the picture of purple on the screen.] Tom Milsom, aka hexachordal, wrote a song called "Porphyrophobia," and I told him I'd put it in one of my videos. And I'll have a yogurt parfait while listening to the song. For the clever title. [points to the title]
[As the song plays, Craig pours yogurt into The Second City glass. Then granola. Then more yogurt. Then more granola. Eats and spins in his chair dancing. Walks around a little. Walks to camera and takes a bite of his yogurt parfait. Dances some more.]
[Tom's song plays over the wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro instead of outro music]
clone, comments, Ozark Cousins, doobly-doo, breakfast puns, wink
Parfait-rophobia on YouTube