Outside Adventure

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"Outside Adventure"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 488
Original Upload date April 7, 2011
Running time 0:03:16
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by busvlogger
Great People
Guests: Nate Bartley
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Love Fury!"
Next →
"Compromise 101"



[slides in/singing rug]
[has a very excited face] [looks around]
WOW! Oh ho ho wow! This is amazing! This intro is great!! Liked! Favorited! Subscribed! [leans close to camera] Wow! This is amazing! Life complete. [gets up and walks towards kitchen] Woo! [jumps in alligator pit. alligator eats.]
[Craig walks out of the kitchen to the chair to sit down.] I wanted to make a clone easily amused but I think I went too far.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So in the comments, NekkaLucifer writes [shows comment] "Seriously, what is happening to the chair at 2:46. That's just rookie" and then there was an ellipsis. [closeup of ellipsis that ends the comment] But Nekka never finished. Nekka never finished. He's just standing there. Waiting. Half a sentence flopping in the wind. Rookie what? Rookie of the year? Rookie snookie? Rookie bookie... who eats cookies? Rookie wookiee? [Chewbacca cries out]
You must be referring to this portion of yesterday's video. [shows clip with chair highlighted. The chair is split screen improperly or cropped improperly ] Were you not watching? That was a Level 7 Love Fury. It strikes with a love so hard it bends time. Clearly you've never been a Class L Red Mage with a Cupid staff forged in the mines of Mount Eros with mithril inlay. [audience oooohs] [Craig nods] Yeah. That's right. Yeah.
[Craig and a clone sit side by side.]
Observe. Level 1 will be enough.
[Craig:] Love fury! [shoots heart at clone which splits the clone in two down the middle. The clone's two halves now move independently.]
[Craig:] See?
[Clone:] What'd you do to me?
[Side of the clone sitting furthest from Craig unsuccessfully tries punching him.]
[Craig:] Hey, what's the other half of you doing there?
[Side of the clone sitting closest to Craig punches him.]
[Craig:] Ow! Punching. Yeah. Love hurts.
Or maybe I... just overlooked something... in the.... editing. That's probably not it, though.
I'm perfect!
Nothing is perfect.
I'm nothing.
Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing and that's a great way to lose weight. [As he says this, the words appear beside him on screen: Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing... and that's a great way to lose weight. - Craig Benzine.]
So in yesterday's video, I said I was gonna go outside. And so I will. In the past.
[A song played by Craig plays over footage of Craig going outside.]
So I headed for the door but it was cold, [walks down steps toward camera but stops and shivers]
So I headed on back to get my coat [turns around and goes back towards the stairs]
So I headed for the door but it was warm so I took off my coat and it was cold again.
I head on out and I scream and shout [Craig steps outside and shouts:] I'm outside!
Neighbors are wondering what that's about
And I got surprised by the pretty pretty bricks on the walls [Craig smiling and pointing, camera zooms in on bricks]
Then I remember that I live in Chicago and all the buildings are made of brick.
Sometimes I'm so stupid it makes me sick,
So stupid, really stupid, just really really stupid.
So I turn my head and holy crap! [Craig, on the sidewalk says:] Holy crap!
Nate Bartley, a fine young chap, [Nate walking up sidewalk]
Drummer for the band Driftless Pony Club, [Craig looks excited to see him. Nate not so much.]
I took it upon my own behalf [Nate turns and walks away. Craig follows him.]
To go and ask for an autograph [Craig holds out pen and paper.]
But apparently he doesn't like to share the love. [Nate slaps down the paper and kicks the pen down the sidewalk. Hurries away.]
So I put the paper in my hand, [Craig picks up the paper from sidewalk and then the pen]
Then I remembered I'm the singer in the band,
So I gave myself an autograph instead. [Signs paper]
The outside's nice, it's got fresh air,
You can breathe it in everywhere. [Craig takes deep breaths]
Well, maybe not everywhere. [cars pass, with exhaust coming out. Craig deeply coughs a few times]
[song over]
Outside done. Never going outside again.
[A little girl, holding a teacup:] The coffee's done!
[A little boy with a lightsaber:] I love it when the coffee's done!
[Little boy winks (ding). Little girl winks (ding) Headlight of VW bus winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
Guess what? If you order one of my shirts from my glorious wardrobe on Spreadshirt [takes off a Dare to Be Pointless t-shirt] on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, you get five dollars off. [takes off Beardlover t-shirt] Just use the code on the screen. The codes are also in the doobly-doo. And the link to my store is also in the doobly-doo. [Takes off Shirt! t-shirt. He's shirtless.] I'm not wearing a shirt now, am I? If seeing me without a shirt isn't incentive to buy a shirt, I don't know what is.

Recurring elements

singing rug, alligator pit, Easily amused clone, comments, Chewbacca, clone, Craig quotes, song, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), wink, merchandise, doobly-doo


This is the first appearance of Easily amused clone.

External links

Outside Adventure on YouTube