[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. So it was Christmas since the last time I saw you. I wanted to give you a gift so here's a free Starbucks gift card. Yeah! Free coffee! Just cover my hand on the screen. Put your hand on my hand. Go for it. Aww gross! You touched my gum! Aww! Why would you do that?
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Sorry about that. Here. Have some hand sanitizer. [Extends his hand to camera with hand sanitizer in it.] WD-40. [pulls his hand back with WD-40 in it.] Hahaha! Now you have oil all over your hands. Why do you listen to me? You know what? To make amends, I'll listen to you. Let's read the comments.
[shows vforvictory's comment:] Hey Wheezy. You are awesome as heck and I have a challenge for you. I want you to make an entire video in one take. Of course, it should stil be highly technichal with awesome events and adventures and graphics and possibly even even in 3d. That would be a feat of awheezyome... ness. Pleeeeeeease.
I don't know. One take. That's really difficult. I'll have to write up a script and just...
[Another Craig slides in/singing rug:] Don't be a wuss! Do it!
[Craig:] Ahh, it's hard enough by myself. Let's not bring a clone into this.
[Clone:] The commenter asked for awesome events. I like to think I'm pretty awesome.
[Craig:] But you're not an event.
[Clone:] Well.... my awesomeness kinda transcends whether or not...
[Craig:] Here's an event! [punches the clone]
[Craig smiles for a moment and then sighs:] What are we gonna do for one take? I'm really boring without editing.
[Clone:] Well, the comment said to show graphics. Here's one. [Picture of a kitten appears onscreen.] Here's another one. [Picture of a cat.] That's a good one. [Picture of a kitten] There's one. [Picture of a kitten sleeping.]
[Craig:] But they're just cats. [Sneezes] And I'm allergic to cats.
[Clone:] You know what? I'll go on an adventure. Get you some allergy medicine. [slides out of frame]
[Craig:] No it's fine.
[On the left side of the frame, we see the clone go up in the air, where the eagle is flying.]
[The clone grabs onto the eagle's feet.]
[Craig:] There you go. Is this still technically one take if half the screen is being edited?
[Clone:] Whoaaaaa! Hey! Can I have some action music please?
[Craig:] Alright. [starts singing the Indiana Jones theme]
[In the left side of the frame, the clone punches away another bird, a cannon:] That might be a copyright issue. But I'll worry about that later. [Punches away a balloon.] Hey, the comment wanted this in 3d.
[Craig:] Okay. We're now in 3d. That's right. This is actually in 3D right now.
[Clone drops down:] Whoaaaa!
[Craig:] If you were wearing glasses...
[Clone grabs something off pharmacy shelf:] Here, catch! [throws it. It lands next to Craig. He bends down to get it.]
[Craig:] Thanks. [Pops some pills.] This is just Vitamin C.
[Clone leans into frame:] It has a secret ingredient. Walnut extract.
[Craig:] I'm allergic to walnuts! [Gasps and starts wheezing]
[Clone:] Okay.... uh.... alright.... I'll heal you with the power of music. [Holds up guitar and starts singing:] Don't die, don't die, don't die, don't die. Didn't know that you were allergic to nuts, don't die, don't die, don't die, don't die. [Craig "ooohs" along] Didn't know that you were allergic to nuts, I'll die, I'll die, I'll die, I'll die. [Gets up and starts walking towards alligator pit] As punishment for killing your guts, I'll die, I'll die, In the alligator pit. Now. [Jumps into alligator pit. Alligator munches.]
[Craig:] Oh no! Now my guitar's broken. And I'm dying. [Wheezes.]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
[Craig, leaning way back in his chair, wheezes.] Still dyin'. [coughs] In case I do die, though, here's some more entertainment for you. Platoon of Power Squadron. It's a web series my friend makes. [points to annotation] I'm in it. [coughs] There's a... they just put up the fourth episode. I... I look like this in this episode. [Picture of him in his crime-fighting costume.] I might make out with a girl in it too. [coughs] Probably should go check it out. Click there to go. You should subscribe too. [coughs] Continue to get entertainment in case I die. [coughs] Tell you what. If you go there and you watch, I'll go to the hospital. Make sure I don't die. 'Kay? [coughs] Alright. Go watch it. Have a good time. [Falls out of his chair]
singing rug, beardlovers, comments, clone, eagle, song, alligator pit, wink, Platoon of Power Squadron
The reason that this video has "for real" in the title is that at one time Craig made a video he said was in one take, but it clearly wasn't. That video is One Take Waiter.
One Take Waiter (for real) on YouTube