Oh No! Coffee Shirts!
|"Oh No! Coffee Shirts!"|
|Original Upload date||April 5, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||HPnerdfighter|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. How are you? Are you alright? Is this a bad time? Hmm. Sorry. Why'd you click on the video then? See ya. [slides out/singing rug]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[leans into frame] Hey, how you doing? Feeling better? May I start my video now? Perhaps you could eat some chocolate. Like thethetheshow in the comments.
[shows comment] I don't know why but every time I watch one of your videos, I feel an instant need to eat chocolate.
Chocolate? What? [text flashes on the screen for a split second: Chocolate yum!] Really? Why would I give...? [a picture of bars of chocolate flashes on the screen for a split second] I don't... I don't know what that's about [a picture of bar of chocolate dipped in melted chocolate flashes on screen for a split second]
So I read in the news that the space shuttle Discovery... [picture of shuttle launch except instead of shuttle, it's a stack of chocolate] ... what? ... Get that delicious pile of chocolate out of the way.... [the pile of chocolate exits to the left, revealing the Discovery launch] that the space shuttle Discovery launched today. This is the first time in history [shows article] that four women at one time have enjoyed the experience of the giant vacuum of space, proving once and for all that size does matter. [Stack of chocolate reappears] Get outta there! [It exits to the left]
In other news about frontiers conquered by women [shows article] Tiger Woods returns to the golf course today. Coincidental ad placement. [Focuses on ad next to the story and highlights the word "Frontier" in the ad. Then highlights words "stretch seating."] Stretch seating. What's that? Click. [Website explaining stretch seating] Five more inches of legroom. See? Size does matter. It's all over the internet.
I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done!
[As Craig says "coffee," a clone beside him says:] Chocolate
[Craig:] The coffee's done.
[Craig:] When the COFFEE'S done
[Craig:] the COFFEE
[Craig turns and punches the clone.]
I'm gonna stretch to the coffee. [zooms in as he stretches his arm] Rrrr.... stretch [his arm goes into the kitchen] Stretch [His arm moves towards coffee maker] Stretch [Goes to grab the coffee pot] Aaah!
[turns his head to alternate camera angle with his arm stretched out:] Pourin' the coffee. Okay.
[His arm, with his hand now holding his coffee mug, retracts and moves backwards through the kitchen] Careful. Don't spill. [His arm moves through his room.] Don't spill. Ahhhh. [He brings the cup of coffee to his lips and takes a sip as a picture of chocolate appears beside him for a split second.] Mmm.
I think the coffee shirts are done! [shows picture of a t-shirt that say "Coffee" and have Craig's face on them.] I love it when the coffee shirts are done. There's a limited supply. Preorder them now through DFTBA. Link in the doobly-doo.
[Viewer strums her ukulele and winks (ding). Her ukulele turns into an electric guitar with Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro graphic on the back of it. Wheezy Waiter outro music plays.]
[outtakes. The clone is crouched by Craig's chair, which is empty.]
[Craig's voice can be heard:] the COFFEE
[Clone recoils as if being punched. Then again. And again. And again.]
[Craig (or the clone) gets up and turns on lamp. Text on screen: This is when I broke the light bulb with an arrow pointed at Craig trying to turn on the lamp. There's a flash offscreen.] Shit.
[Clone:] Chocolate. [Picture of chocolate flashes onscreen for a split second. Clone recoils as if being punched.]
This is the first appearance of Craig's stretchy arm.
Oh No! Coffee Shirts! on YouTube